The Puppy Project: Introducing Millie

For the past five years, one of our kids (mainly Addison) has requested a dog for Christmas. Tim and I have always had an easy out: Dad's allergic. Now, let me clarify. 
Tim grew up with dogs and I have never heard stories of him sneezing or complaints of him having allergic reactions to the multiple childhood pets that passed through the home. I have indeed seen him become irritated by dogs with allergy symptoms but again, haven't determined the extent of the dog allergy. I believe it was real for a purpose over the past five years to distract from the strong desire our kids have all had for pets. 
Beginning in November, Addison increased her efforts of owning a dog to the extreme. Tim challenged her to write a paper detailing the ownership responsibilities of having a pet. Sure, we've had a bunny and bird prior to today, but that's honestly nothing compared to the daily tasks of owning a dog. 
Addison took her challenge seriously emailing us a four page research/persuasive paper that had plagiarism at its finest. This girl explained types of dogs for children and those strongly discouraged, what type of ingredients to look for in food, discipline training options, benefits of owning a dog, potential dog sitters, name choices for both boy or girl puppies and so much more. Here's a taste of the opening lines...

"Today, we will be talking about why Horky J. Broersma needs a puppy. There are many, many reasons why she would need a dog, but today we are just going to talk about the main points.
So rumors have been going around that Ms. Horky’s father doesn’t think that she will take care of a dog and be responsible enough to take care of a dog. Well, Ms. Horky’s father, you better be listening to this right now because its about to get real. I have heard that Horky had a rabbit when she was younger, and that her father keeps bringing that up. Well, first of all, you can’t play with a rabbit. You can play with a dog though. Another reason that the rabbit did not work out was because it was an outside pet. Outside pets are always a bit less fun to take care of. "

Addison continued on with her rant as Tim and I read her hilarious display of desperation to own a dog. By the time we read The Puppy Project, Tim had already began the search for breeders of cavapoos which was clearly defined as the desired breed best suited for our family's needs. On our way down to Portland earlier this month, we called a local breeder and had Auntie Becky be our eyes on the then, five week old puppies. There were three girls to choose from and Auntie did a great job determining which was the most playful, adorable and engaged. That was the beginning of December...We now had the almost impossible task of not telling anyone, deleting any and all text threads or photos, and changing all passwords on all devices in order to cover our top secret puppy tracks in order to keep the surprise quiet. 

"So after all that we have gone over the basics of having a dog. The benefits of having a dog. More physical activity, less stress, reduce depression, improve heart health, improve social skills, and detect cancer sooner. We have also gone over the negatives of having a dog. Hiring pet sitters when you are away, costs, and cleaning. We have considered the best types of dogs for your family and the worst. We went over what having a dog will teach you. Patience, responsibility, socializing, loyalty, stay active, gratitude, and love unconditionally. We also went over the needs of a dog, and the best foods and toys.
Studies have shown that people are happier when they have a dog by their side( not just at someone else's house ). From my experience, everyone that I know with a dog, is so much happier and alive then anyone else. Dogs pick you up when you are down. They are there when you are need help. And they love you forever. Mr. Broersma, I hope that you take this into consideration, for the sake of your own amazing, precious ( at times ), beautiful children. Just think of how happy they will be."

Thank You
P.S. Dog spelled backwards is God, just going to point that out :)

As for the research paper, well, the first draft wasn't good enough for Tim so he pointed out holes in the paper that needed to be covered. Two hours later, Addison added another couple pages that turned up again, with more holes in the research. Now Addison is getting mad and the secret keepers are experiencing guilt for the clearly visible frustrations of stopping the puppy project dead in its tracks. 
The worst came when Baylee was opening a present from my parents which happened to be a stuffed puppy, food dish and all, that Papa and Nana agreed to pet sit. This caused Addi to leave the room angry and in tears. Her poor childhood heart crushed that her parental's are never going to let her have a dog...
Until Christmas Day. Being eight weeks old on the 29th, allowed us to place this Cavapoo fur ball into a small, carefully placed white box on the doorstep while Tim and I both covered the reaction on film.
Best kept Christmas surprise ever. 
Puppy Project complete...well, sort of. Tim created an official puppy contract that Addison later negotiated and made minor changes so that the dog was referred to as an equal in the family. Well played.


* One of the top two suggested girl names was Beasley from The Office. The Name has since changed being she looks more like a Millie :)


{ The original Puppy Project Contract. }

Now accepting puppy advice...or good carpet cleaners!

Hummingbird Kisses

A faint hum. A flutter of the wing. A hummingbird kiss hovering in the air.
The ability to beat the wing two hundred times in a single second. 
This is grief; a flutter of memories that holds hundreds of visuals of the one you love which are displayed in a single beat of the heart longing to be with those gone. 

{ 1980's Christmas }

I first experienced this the day my sister passed almost two years ago. As the sun was setting in a pink fire of a sky, hummingbirds greeted the porch that once fed them in multiple feeders on Traci's balcony. The pause of movement hovering before diving to the next destination. 
Many have sent text messages with images of hummingbirds staring them down outside a kitchen window as a reminder of the connection my sister had with the fascinating bird. 
A physical reminder that brought a memory to mind. 
The most significant being on a run with a girlfriend this past summer, 1200ft. in elevation, pausing at an overlook facing Mt. Baker and the valley below. A breathtaking display of God's creation that felt like a hands distance away. Our emotions were already in play as we began our run in tears and paused in reflection of what God had done in our lives. As I began to explain how I couldn't even come close to what heaven would be like compared to the view we had in front of us, a hummingbird came within arms reach; eye level, face to face, pausing for what felt like minutes. My body collapsed to the stone rock we stood on as the tears flooded my cheeks. A hummingbird kiss of desired touch, relationship and physical presence fluttered in front of me as if Traci herself, was there to tell me to get it going, stop you're fussing and get running. My girlfriend gently laid her hand on my shoulder praying through the grief left on that view point advantage. 

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works and consider all your mighty deeds."
Psalm 77:11-12

Hauling out the Christmas decorations I, out of habit, went to grab my phone to call my sister and tell her Christmas was about to unleash throughout my house. Her name greeting me on the Christmas card list in harsh reality that I won't be sending her a card. 
The ornament hanging on the tree in memory of my sister not here in person to celebrate. 
Memories of decorating gingerbread houses together, discussing what gifts to buy for our parents, what crafts to make for teacher gifts and how to spoil the nieces and nephews have been in full view this month. It's hard not to remember the old... of not that long ago. 
One particular Christmas really stands out in my mind. My dad had just recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The weekend we found out all the details of his condition, I spent in Portland visiting Traci. She always had a list a mile long of things to do that if accomplished, would take the entire month to cross each one off. She was never shy of ideas to create memories. This weekend she took us (Tim, Addi & I) to the Grotto to see the beautiful displayed nativity scene carved in stone along with harmonic choirs in a tree light setting. There was a glimpse of fear in our conversation over Dad and tears shed as Daddy's girls were scared for his future. Little did we know four months later she would be facing a diagnoses herself. 
I also think back to Christmas of 2015 when us three kids tried to replicate an old childhood picture in our Christmas onesie pj's with perfectly cropped mullets. There was laughter that filled the living room seeing all of us in oversized, ridiculous pj's making the kids think we were all a bit crazy. 
And taking you really far back, the memories of red, plaid Christmas nightgowns with curly hair and three kids overly anxious to open presents with Mom slowly... washing... every... single... dish before we could even so much as touch a present to open. And of course, the kid picture in front of the tree or fireplace has to take place as well before the excitement of gifts begin. These are the flutters that cross my mind as I glance at our Christmas tree and see the hummingbird visit the feeder outside my window. 

"And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.""
Luke 22:19

Grief can be complicated, exhausting, unexpected and beautiful all in the same moment. I've been punched with grief when not expecting the tears to well up and then find myself laughing in the middle of a memory. I have promised myself that I will not give any ground for the Enemy to steal my joy and that also 
includes my joy in grief. 
Once a month, we remember what Christ did for us on the cross taking our sins upon Himself to then offer His children eternal salvation if we believe. A time to reflect, repent and remember ALL that Father God has done in our lives. Sure, for some this can be a time of extreme emotions and others a time of gratitude that extends through smiles and worship. Both displaying the act of remembering. We don't do this to get stuck on the fact that we are filthy sinners who don't deserve grace. We do this to remember the freedom we have through the cross. God has provided believers an expression to receive a hummingbird kiss. A moment to reflect on the ways God has rescued, redeemed and forgiven you in life. 
I am so thankful for the beauty of remembering. 

Sister, thank you for giving me so much to remember. 
Two hundred memories in a single second. 
Two hundred times two hundred more days I wish I had more with you. 
Two hundred ways to say I love you and miss you. 
Two hundred ways God gave you miracles that has inspired, encouraged and given me reason to smile. 

Hummingbird kisses. 
Flutters of memories displayed in mere seconds as a single tear quietly travels down my cheek. 
Merry Christmas Sister. You are always remembered.

Christmas Adventures


It's been all things Christmas here lately. 
Addison and I have been binge watching on Holiday Netflix catching ourselves smiling back at the TV in the expected guy-gets-girl classic movie ending. We've even managed to boot the guys to the basement a few times claiming all things cheese upstairs. 
Myriam has been learning about other styles of Christmas celebrations at school making for some interesting conversations. Meanwhile, Baylee has been learning all things potty training being surprised to learn that pee is indeed yellow (we're finally making progress here!).The playroom tree has been redecorated a few times by our little's and Addison taught Myriam how to make snowflakes so for awhile there was a continual trail of white paper pieces cut up all over the floor. I'm happy to report there was no hair cutting... Knock on wood it's been two years since the last self-inflicted mane style
Charlie has been focused on basketball in-between learning some new Christmas songs on his guitar. The Man Cub is gaining skills and picks up sheet music very quickly! Not sure I'd let him lead worship quite yet... 
Good to have goals!
Baylee has been playing with her new Christmas Tree stuffy 'Tiny Piney.' Her curiosity around the tree is high but no ornaments have been broken or gifts unwrapped. Yes, I have presents under the tree and all the kids think they have figured out the number system on the presents. I keep telling them, "You're not even close!" That's been fun to watch as they all try to guess what the gifts are and which are their own. 
As for fun, well, we paid an obnoxious amount of money to see Enchant Christmas which was an overpriced display of lights with gigantic reindeer lost in a Christmas light maze. We planned to ice skate but it cost more money and the line was too long for the amount of patience or attention left in our group. Can't say I'd go again but the family time we had was great... And we had no meltdowns or runners. Win!

{ Safeco Field: Enchant Christmas }


Tim's work party was earlier this month making our party line up simple and small. Mom and I went to the NCCTK Christmas Concert providing cheer, songs and laughter. The gingerbread houses are decorated and already being picked at with all Christmas cards stamped, handed out or ready to be sent. Addison and Tim decorated the office tree together and later her and I played cards by tree light. The score was tied by the end of the night!


This past weekend we went to see The Grinch in theaters and after, met Baylee's newest 1/2 sister at the hospital. There was a special moment as Naomi and I entered the nursery being asked who Mom was to Baylee. She without hesitation replied, "We both are!" Tim and I are very proud of the person and mom Naomi has become. We were happy to celebrate with the family!
My kitchen counters have a delicious display of cookies quickly disappearing into the hands of hungry children and Christmas music is usually always playing somewhere in the home.
My favorite part of December this far is the quiet moments sitting in my prayer chair with just the twinkle lights from the tree and fire mantel lighting the living room. Something magical happens starring at the Christmas tree. My thoughts get lost, memories reappear and excitement of 
what's to come brings a contented smile to my face. 

 
{ Welcoming baby Noella. }

I love all things Christmas. 
Yes, there are people missing but the beauty of Christmas remains. 
The Christmas crafts will continue and advent calendar opened daily. This next week Christmas breaks begins for the kids and the wish for snow becomes real. Our Christmas Day movie line up is already decided and groceries purchased for holiday snacks and meals. 
Baby Jesus... We are ready for You!
Merry Christmas. 






Perfect Seven Celebrations

{ Sweet seven. }

This sweet thing when asked what kind of birthday party she wanted, explained without any hesitation, "I want angels. I want everyone to be all in white and have it all be about angels because I want everyone to know that God loves us so much He sent us angels to protect us and love us."
Myriam's request has not changed in two months since asking; her interest and understanding of angels has grown in that time too. With her angel feather wings and angel crown perfectly placed, we together got our best white on and celebrated all seven years of Myriam Judith's life. 

 { No stains occurred during party hours. }

Myriam was surrounded by those she loves: Kendall (the babysitter), Judy (the reading buddy), Papa & Nana, Auntie Lindsay & cousins, Grandpa Doug, Uncle Ryan, Uncle Kari, & Kendra who stopped by earlier today (another sitter). What I loved most was watching all the facial expressions from opening gifts to receiving love. Myriam has no lack of feelers and she got her tank filled full today. 
It was such an honor to celebrate her well today! Myriam has worked so hard this past year and to have a day where it was all about her was perfect. 

{ Can't believe this happened seven years ago already. }

I will never forget standing, maybe pacing, outside the delivery room and hearing the sounds of Myriam's first cries when her bio-dad bursted out the door and shared she was here. It was incredible; no words can capture what happened in that one single moment. Standing here seven years later...a joyful gift indeed. 
Thank you to those who came today and to those who have prayed for this birthday girl from paper pregnancy until present day. 
Myriam will be a world changer someday. She will make others laugh and share joy in the darkest of places. Her love of Jesus will light up rooms, change peoples lives and multiply the Kingdom. Myriam has grown up so much this past year both in heart and height. Mommy and Daddy are waiting in anticipation for how God will use this high energy, intense loving, and curiosity seeking princess in our own lives and those of others. 
Myriam Judith... You are such a gift of love and joy in our lives. 
Myriam: longed for, wished for. 
Your name can't be more true.

JUST US Save the Date


Last Spring the JUST US Team set into a motion the first annual NCCTK Couples Getaway. We had a blast. Couples found it to be a relaxed, non-threatening, no homework style "marriage retreat" that rewarded them with laughter and multiple times of connection for themselves and with others. 
We are super excited to be announcing the dates for next year's
JUST US Getaway May 3-5, 2019!!!!
For all local NCCTK couples wanting or interested in signing up for this awesome weekend, watch the highlights from last year HERE then sign up to have early access to reserve one of the sixty rooms we have set aside for you.  
Formal registration will be in January, but don't wait until then as these spots will fill up fast!

Our Forever Family


{ Papa & his Little Lady }

A year ago today Baylee officially joined our family as she legally gained our last name as her own. 
A day that will forever be etched in our minds and eventually she'll understand the importance 
of that day as well. 
Not much changed that day or since then aside from attitudes gaining strength and the bond between Papa and Baylee intensifying. These two are inseparable and I don't see that changing anytime soon. The most beautiful thing about adoption is how instantly our girls became family. From the first time our family met Myriam in the hospital to the first time Baylee met family - no last 
name needed to be changed to see hearts claiming these girls as our own. 
This month we acknowledge and celebrate the blessing of adoption. Our family has grown through adoption and, even though it can be really hard, we'd never change it if we could. God knew in advance our little girls would be ours forever long before we knew of their existence. That brings us such comfort knowing God has this all planned out according to His plan, His will and His timing. So, we celebrate the gift of a forever family and cherish every Bee Squeeze we can get. 
Happy Adoption Day sweet baby girl!


Fall Mash Up

I love fall. 
I love the scent of crisp, autumn leaves crunching under my feet and the 
warmth of a caramel apple cider between my fingers. 
I have no complaints about being stuck inside under a blanket, nose deep in a book. 
There is a sense of pressure to get all the outside activities completed before the months long of rain settles. The kids have had their first teacher conferences and I'm happy to report all grades and assignments are right up in the A's. Charlie is starting his AA basketball and continues to take guitar lessons. Addison enlightens us daily with her artistic abilities as she always has a sketch in process. Myriam gains more awards weekly with the most recent of being "the quietest kid" at The Good News Club. As far as Baylee goes, well, she's counting up to 60, telling me her phonic sounds to letters and still refuses to be potty trained. We recently sold The Mill Inn to YWAM North Cascades which is a huge win for both parties. We are thrilled to see the local base expand and grow as God cultivates a generation of Jesus followers providing more space to house 
missionaries coming to town. 
Here's a little more insight into what's been happening in our home:

Addison had a class hike up at Chain Lakes which turned out to be a little wet and quite a bit chilly. I'm not sure I've gained a trail buddy but Addi did great as she was groups ahead with her friends leaving Mom to chat with others in the back. You really can't fail on any hike up at Mt. Baker!

{ Lynden Dutch Treat: Myriam Princess Belle & Charlie a runner }
 I hate Halloween. I grew up not being involved in anything outside of handing out candy to the older kids coming to the door with pillow cases full of cavities. Once in a while our parents would lend their firefighter, nurse or sports player outfits to knock on a few doors up and down our street. I think out of punishment for not getting along or attempts to save money, my parents bought my sister and I one clown outfit as Traci was in one leg and myself in the other. We didn't get very far but certainly lends to a good laugh now! 
While Addison was hanging out with her friends this year, Charlie and Myriam took to the downtown shops for a little harvest fun. 

{ Sweetest m & m ever. }

 
It pays for Daddy to have good relationships with all his sub contractors and customers in places where they do Chicago deep dish style pizza the right way. What a treat to receive two frozen Giordano's pizzas from Doug! One piece alone and you think you were about to burst from the intake of cheesy deliciousness. Needless to say, the kids have been having leftover pizza for lunch all week. 

More Prayer; Less Judging

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is 
the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

Let me first start off by saying, adoption is hard. I'm not pointing fingers at any given individual, but rather speaking in defense to the silent eyes, body language and labeling that happens when 
trauma speaks louder than words. 
This comes from a place of brokenness, and hearts that seek healing after being beat up and, at times, feeling like a prisoner to the trauma.
Adoption is a beautiful display of scripture in action. 
Tim and I knew God called us into adoption but we didn't have the scope of what that would take from us until years later. In all the training we have had from both our home study and obtaining our foster license, none of that prepared us for the ugly that trauma causes. The courses don't train you on how to respond to complete strangers gawking at your tantrumming child that appears to be undisciplined or having to execute a safety plan due to trauma becoming violent. There's no heart training when things said pierce a mother's heart, completely shattering her belief as a person and able parent. 
This past summer we have witnessed some of the hardest behaviors yet through words and actions and it nearly broke me. My ability to parent and love well was almost shredded. It has been painful to watch knowing so much of what is happening is spiritual and tied to generational sin. And worst yet is the secondary trauma that takes place in our other kids. I can tell you story after story of things that have happened all due to secondary trauma. Things like our Man Cub trying to protect his Mom when Myriam is hitting me, kicking me or saying things out of rage that she doesn't truly believe to be true. Confusion and bondage have her spewing hatred that has left stains on this Mama's heart. Bruises from the punches when anger needs to release itself. 
That is secondary trauma. 
I don't share that to scare you or to set off alarms. I'm simply stating reality in many adoptive homes. 
Trauma is unpredictable; it's real. Trauma is terrifying but can be comforted. Trauma can be the very thing that makes you want to give up and not continue to pray making you think it will never get any better. 
Things in Myriam's pregnancy were completely out of her control. Patterns of living were done so out of habit and generations of doing things a certain way. When we brought her home we immediately attached and grew as a family of five. Tim and I educated ourselves in adoption circles finding support through our church and other families who had adopted as well. 
Myriam has always been a busy little body walking by nine months and never not having a curiosity about everything. We love that about her, but it's also the thing that has gotten her into trouble. 
Last year at school was a challenge even before the first day of school. The transition into first grade was far from smooth and felt safety wasn't established until months into the school year. Our friend Micah has been a huge blessing meeting us weekly for "play time" or better known as occupational therapy. She was a wealth of knowledge and saw some of my most unpleasant moments. Those mornings she would greet me with chocolate treats and supportive hugs, never judging me for not having my crap together was the encouragement I needed to keep going.

Desert Adventures Part Three

Grand Canyon (9th state)
Horseshoe Bend
3:08 time
230 of 791 total runners
32 of 106 in my age division (30-39)
111 of 516 all female
14 miles total
1650 ft. in elevation

Waking up this morning meant packing up the tent and loading the car completely. Addi and I had already packed the suitcases the night before so it was a matter of rolling up bags by lanterns light.  The challenge is getting out of your sleeping bag into the low forty temperatures to dress and get going. I was so proud of Addison for rocking the runners tent life.
Once again, we were met with sludge for coffee and I'm thankful I packed a few Starbuck Via's to make my few sips go down a little easier. There was an overall sigh being this was the last day of the race, but also community tenderness in everyone's steps. I love the enthusiasm that greeted runners and overall spirit of community in base camp. Even though there are hundreds of people you start to recognize faces after a few days. I was entertained hearing where everyone was from and finding out their own running journey. Many of the participants had never ran on trail, elevation over five hundred feet or miles past double digits. I can't imagine how sore every joint and muscle would be without the training I committed to do. 
We again had to drive a distance to the shuttle parking lot near the start line. Addison really wanted to watch me start a race so she snuck in the shuttle rather than waiting this time for the spectator shuttle. With everyday, the start line opened up at seven thirty and then became a rolling start as the runners made their way to the line. This benefited the race congestion especially since many trails were single track. 

{ Waiting for the shuttle bus and blessed with this incredible sunrise. #nofilter }

{ State #9 done. }

{ Day three begins... }

Today's race made for my ninth state as I ran in Arizona near Horseshoe Bend. Originally, the course had all runners going ten miles. With the threat of rain later in the morning and the past few days rain, the Waterslot Canyons proved too dangerous to have all of us crazies trampling up and down a ladder into the skinny canyons. The pictures looked amazing so I was a little disappointed, but grateful I didn't have to swim my way out if a flash flood arrived. That said, the new course added an additional two miles to the final day race. In reality, it turned out to be fourteen miles on the most 
technical surface I've ran on ever. 
Think of fragile crepes, layered fifty thick and not being sure if they are secure enough to put your weight on... this is just a little of what I ran on. Layers of thin sand harden making the surface never flat or level and then add in seven miles of soft beach canyon sand. Parts of the out and back course (there was zero trails just markers to keep you from getting lost) forced you into skinny rock formations that had you scaling down and back up on the way back. Only one person at a time could pass. Absolutely crazy. 
The Grand Canyon by far gave me the most challenge physically and emotionally. The view did not in fact disappoint which kept me running and also knowing the finish line was miles away pushed me to keep running. 

{ A success just to keep the pink ribbon in view while navigating the terrain. }

{ What went down, must climb back up. }

Desert Adventures Part Two

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10

Zion 
Gooseberry Mesa
2:21 time
259 out of 789 total runners
25 of 108 age division (30-39)
126 of 517 all female
12 miles total
1034 ft. in total elevation


{ The sunrise cast a beautiful glow. }

When we left base camp to drive to the start lines it was pitch black outside. The flip side of this are the night skies and ability to see all the stars. Simply incredible. Addi and I slept amazing this second night staying plenty warm and dry. 
Again, we had to drive a little over an hour to the start line which for locals, looks bizarre seeing a line of headlights literally miles long as we all follow one after another. In order to get to the "parking lot" the second morning we had to drive on a very bumpy road for about a mile then pull into a low laying cactus, dirt cattle field to park our beat up rental. Thank goodness it stopped raining or we'd never even get past the beginning of the dirt road! 
This was the first time we were able to see the beginning of the sunrise and it didn't disappoint. The colors in Zion were again amazing. Completely different canyon than Bryce both in size, elevation and the surface I ran on. Some loose sand but mainly rippled gritty rock that was rolling on the top of a "flat" canyon. Looks are deceiving from a distance. I was surprised how much green was in the desert. This particular trail had lots of cactus and what looked to be pine trees. The path we took had the runners along the edge for half of the race. I was shocked how many were brave enough to sit on the ledge to get that epic photo shot. The Mommy in me wanted to reach out my arm and tell the adults to stay back.





Desert Adventures Part One

A year ago, I was doing my wifely duties of vacuuming up other people's messes when I jammed my two little toes into the recliner grossly breaking a little piggy. It took two doctors and a nurse to convince me to stop running for awhile until the break healed or I'd have a disfigured toe for the rest of my life. This meant deferring my registration for the Grand Circle Trailfest until this year. 
I've been training hard to accomplish this goal of three races in three days. Intense trail runs alone in the hills with my thoughts running wild and prayers being sent to the One who created the beauty surrounding Whatcom County. There is no lack of trails around here or others who love the trails as much as I do. I even managed to get Charlie to tag along on some flatter runs while pedaling beside me for miles. Training is challenging, mental and time consuming when juggling four littles. 
But, it was so worth the wait and dedication to stay focused and push
through the moments where training got hard. 
Addison's school had a few days off of school and she gladly jumped at the opportunity to join Mom in Kanab, Utah. We packed strategically knowing there were no wash machines for the immediate wash of weathered running clothes. Sleeping bags, air mattresses, multiple shoes and race day attire were jammed into a suitcase with about twenty large Ziploc bags ready to seal in the stench of my adventures. Addi and I flew into Las Vegas, then drove through some breathtaking country to get to our base camp where four hundred tents were set up and ready for runners.

{ Weekend cans at base camp. "Thou shall cover thy turd with sawdust." }

We quickly immersed ourselves with camp life, the S'mores Station and dinner haul. I absolutely loved having our oldest tag along with me, but I'm guessing she was thinking differently when desert storm released her fiery with the most insane thunder and lightening I've ever experienced. As a reminder, we are sleeping in tents, on the ground which was shaking violently and rain that pierced the one rain shield between us and God's sweet precipitation. Needless to say, we only got four hours of sleep before a rude early morning wake-up call and first race start for the weekend. 
I can't say great things about the food provided but I'm grateful we didn't have to worry entirely about it. The coffee looked like the mud we walked through and options of flavors were slim. Everything about my running usual's were thrown out the window. 
We drove a little over an hour to get to the parking lot where shuttles then brought us to the start line. Addison waited in the dry car until all the runners had been shuttled away then carefully delivered to wait for Mom to cross the first finish line. I was a little nervous for her being alone but making friends with the race director and finding other spectators gave me the ease I needed while she waited. 

Bryce Canyon (State #8)
2:57 time
266 out of 796 total runners
31 of 102 in my age division (30-39)
138 of 519 all female
13.1 miles total
2350 ft. in elevation change

{ Can you call that coffee? }

 { State #8 }

Grandma Haak a.k.a. Chips & Dip Grandma

I never fought such eternal jealously than I did the morning Grandma Haak passed away. 
9.8.2018
Tears of anger and jealousy that Grandma was in the presence of Jesus and with my sister; myself still waiting my turn. A tangible reminder of how much I miss my sister. Tears watching the family grieve and knowing I had to tell the kids yet another grandparent had passed away. 
Tears hearing Mom say she was an orphan now that her parents had all passed away. 

{ Sunday Staple Grandma Recipes }

Nothing about loosing a grandparent is easy. 
Grandma Haak has lived around the corner since shortly after we moved to our current home. The kids and I would often walk, ride or run by Grandma's and send a wave to the second floor balcony patio which was watched faithfully to see all the traffic and business that Grandma followed daily. She knew the routine of particular cars, names of those walking by and if not, would try to figure them out by playing Dutch Bingo. She understood the patterns of neighbors and always had things to say about her dirty windows or the cotton that was stuck in the screens. And never did you ask about the creek because she always had something to say about the flow of water, critters that stopped by or logs that were jammed up by the bridge. A wealth of information she was. 
So much knowledge that years ago when I went running by, pony tail in place and hair out of my way, Grandma thought she knew how one should wear their hair when out running.

"Today, there was a gal that went running by with her hair in a pony tail swooshing side to side and such a mess. She should have taken better care of her hair than like that. It was so unkept."
Ummm... what color shorts was she wearing?
"Black ones with a colored top."
Yeah, Grandma. Be nice. That was me. 

Many of my girlfriends still give me a hard time about that unkept pony tail and remind me to keep it in place so Grandma doesn't have more to say of the messy running hair!


When Grandma was first diagnosed with Ovarian cancer, all the greats and grands put our effort together to create a quilt to keep Grandma warm during treatments and at home. With Grandpa gone she had no one at home to snuggle up to or rub her back when not feeling well. This quilt was a gem. 
Hand prints, verses and so much love in one comforting quilt
It wasn't much earlier that I had just shaved Gigi's hair due to hair loss from her cancer treatments. Grandma Haak was next and one I was most nervous about. I was surprised by Grandma's strength and fighting spirit during her four year battle with cancer. It really wasn't until this past year that her health became much more obvious and the struggle to be independent a daily battle. 
Grandma always had a stash of Juice Boxes chilled ready for visitors which Charlie used as a reason to say hi. Often other neighbor kids would stop in to say hi as well which always brought Grandma such joy. These visits will be missed greatly. 
The Grandma's that were incredibly involved in the lives of our children both physically and through prayer now gone ... the void is quite large. 

Golden


14 on the 14th.
A golden birthday. 
I can still remember the feeling of seeing Addison for the first time ... numb from the arms down due to an emergency c-section. The nurse and Tim had to help hold my arms in place to hold her for the first time. Not how I imagined it would be but it was indeed perfection resting in my arms. 
Addison has been our sweet joy from day one. We are often taken back by her maturity, wisdom, responsibility and also her goofiness that randomly makes an appearance. Organized, structured and routine in her studying habits and dailies. Never do I need to tell her to make her bed; she just does it. 
God has given our oldest the gift of a creative eye and skill that we pray someday will be used to bless others. It already has many times over. 
Her heart is for others overflowing with compassion and understanding when she sees an emotional need. 
It was my job to bring some golden cheer to her classroom on Friday and to celebrate with Addi ... 
regardless if she wanted it or not! So, with gold bedazzled cupcakes, 14 gold balloons, a jar of golden wrapped candy and a golden colored drink, Nana and I, along with the little helper, brought the celebration to school. 

First Day of School

 { 8th grade at Ebenezer Christian School }

The changes that have occurred from first grade to eighth grade can't be numbered. There are simply too many. Addison was enrolled at home for school with the support through Mp3 for seven years. They were good years. School years where she expanded her knowledge, but also found herself bored because her mind needed more challenge, more knowledge and socialization I was not capable of giving. This year marks Addison's second year at ECS ... I still view her with the adorable short bob, missing teeth and quiet spirit that held many in suspense to when she'd find her voice. She's found it. Addison continues to be organized, motivated, extremely artistic and thoroughly enjoying the friendships she's established. It also helps that she has little brother to pick on now that he's in the same middle school building.

 { 5th grade at Ebenezer Christian School }

Chuckles. You will always have your Mama's heart melting with every smile. God has given this Man Cub an incredibly compassionate, sensitive and tender heart for those he sees in need. There is never a night where he doesn't say "I love you" and still requests his parental's to tuck him in at night. I love that and pray it never changes. This year marks Charlie's third year at ECS with established friendships and schedules he has learned to love. Charlie is all boy watching wrestling, getting dirty, playing sports and the latest, following his Daddy's footsteps, has really taking a liking to barbershop. Kid can sing and play the guitar from his father's natural gifting's. Charlie tries to be as organized as his big sister but he's boy. Some things don't pass down in the line of siblings. As for pushing buttons, he does that best with Myriam.

{ 1st grade at Fisher Elementary School }

This girl. It's been a hard summer. I won't sugar coat the struggles we've been dealing with that have resulted in many days in tears. BUT, we have had an amazingly surprising, prayer-filled start to her first grade that has already earned rewards to Edaline Dairy for treats. Myriam works tirelessly to keep herself regulated, choosing good choices and remembering all that she needs to do in the classroom setting. She had no nerves going into this year. When she went to meet her teacher, her aide from last year was spotted making Myriam run into the ELRC with mega hugs for her favorite person, Mrs. Karb. The transition to school this year has gone without fuss (well, just once so far but compared to years past it's a wash) and we are beyond proud of Myriam for working this hard. Her favorite part of school so far have been the compliment circles at the end of the day: “I just wanted to compliment everyone for everything: everyone worked hard, played nicely at recess, lined up quietly, and I just think this is the best class at the best school.  
I’m happy to be here.”
Bug, if you can keep that attitude up throughout the year, you are going to leap miles ahead. Mommy and Daddy will prayerfully guide you through this year so you can have others say to you, 
"We are so happy YOU we're here in our classroom."

As for Baylee ... well, she'll be entering Mommy's School of Potty Training soon making this 
house a diaper free zone. 

Here's to a great year of education, packed lunches, homework and number two pencil zones. 

Summer's Highlights

Addison, all summer long, has been busy in her bullet journal doodling, drawing, creating and her niche, painting. This was her hand painted canvas she made for Tim on Father's Day this year that was inspired from her favorite picture of the two of them on the Washington State Ferry. I'm astonished and amazed by the attention to details Addison was able to display in her painting. 
She could have entered one of hundreds of sketches she's drawn, but she chose this painting to enter into the Northwest Washington Fair. By oops, I entered her into the 15-18 age category when really she should have been in the 11-14 age group ... as seen by the abundance of ribbons, the age didn't matter. 
God has given this child an ability to capture emotion, joy, details, relationships and thoughts onto a simple piece of paper. As parents, we want to do everything possible to encourage Addi to run with the gifting God has given her and use it somehow to bless those around her. 
She's already moved on to the next commissioned art piece ... stay tuned!


Funny as this may be, our sweet Myriam struggled to stay afloat this summer with the heat wave and smoke intake. The girl would fall asleep from vacation overload anywhere she landed - mid sentence, conversation, snack time and as the above, post shower when drying off. One evening, when I was making dinner, I walked into the living room and found Myriam chin-up resting on the back of the couch and her body dangling off the bottom. The most bizarre, awkward position to sleep in possible. 
On the flip-side, when she's not sleeping the girl is on fire, go speed, creating life and
always keeping it interesting. 

Boys Only Hiking Adventures

{ Mason, Charlie, Uncle Ryan & Kalen. }

This past Christmas Grandpa Doug gifted each grandson a hiking backpack with the
promise of taking them all on an overnight trip.
Charlie was so excited and prepared for this backpacking overnight. Tim helped get his pack all set up with protein snacks, cushion to sleep on, cool gadgets and, bonus, Mom's old trail runners that fit the Man Cub to perfection. The pack was ready a couple days before and the hiker was up two hours before Grandpa Doug picked him up. Excited, giddy, ready to explore and spend quality time with his cousins.
Thankfully, the smoke hadn't settled too much but still cast haze and pink sunrises from a distance. The boys had a great time! Games of hide and seek, swimming and attempts at becoming a photographer filled Charlie's time at Lake Ann.
He's now ready to start planning the next years trip with Tim.
Thank you Grandpa Doug for the gift of quality time and investing into our Man Cub.

{ Views on the way to the campsite. }

{ Exploring the grounds. }

{ I can't imagine what the truck smelled like on the way back from hot, sweaty feet. }