HAND-made With Lots of Love

It didn't take much to put a smile on Grandma Haak's face…

just a village of grands & greats. 

After the devastating news that cancer is riddled throughout Grandma's abdomen, I found myself angry and yet, not that surprised hearing the "C" word once again. Honestly, I'm just done hearing that word and seeing it cause so much pain in our family. It causes grief, sorrow and brings fear into lives that are simply too young. Nothing tears me up more than seeing our oldest struggling to understand why everyone gets cancer and whether or not she'll too get a diagnoses someday. I found myself angry at God this past week and attempting to hide in a shell. 

So, I did something about it to bring smiles to others and distract little minds (and mine own) onto brighter things. Grandma is always layered up in usually 3-5 layers of undergarments to keep herself warm and put together. I would hate to know what happens when you really got to go and the wait time of pulling down those many layers causes an "oops-in-your-pants!!!" It's a guarantee that Grandma Haak's place is set around 70-80 degrees depending on the season. She likes to be warm and cozy. But, truth be told, you're not allowed to wear so many layers or have the temperature set so high when recovering in a hospital bed. 

So, with the help from MANY grands and greats, the kids and I set out to JoAnn Fabrics to pick up all the supplies to make a cozy quilt to wrap Grandma in while recovering from her surgery in Seattle. Addi and I chose the best fitted fleece that matched Grandma's living room so she could then use it back at home as well. A case of fabric markers and some muslin and we were ready to get started! I hacked into Mom's Facebook to reach out to as many cousins as possible and within a day had hand prints starting to come together. When there's 42 of us, it's hard to get everyone in one place. I was able to get most hands traced and the others we're represented with a name and little message. 

My mother gave reason to call her once again a saint as she did all the needed sewing to make this happen. I honestly think she was more terrified for the condition of her sewing machine after I would have attempted this on my own than the quilt itself. Thanks Mom for doing what would have taken me a full day and probably a purchase of a new machine compared to your three hours of attention. 

I will always be striving to be like my mom…

I will continue to always rely on her sewing capabilities as well.

I found my anger decreasing as I poured energy into making Grandma's quilt. It helps that My Love knows exactly how to care for me when I'm in a funk and processing. Sometimes it's the just being there I need most. Hearing Dad needs to have more surgery followed by the tumor marker count for Grandma sent me in a "I want to kick cancer's bootie" tail spin. I'll be the first to say that I'm beyond pissed our family has to fight so much cancer. It's been hard to pray and open the Bible this past week due to the funk I was in. Nothing sends tears to my eyes more than not being able to do anything for my mom and watching her pain from a husbands, a daughters and now mothers cancer battles. Thus being the reason she's a saint. My mother does this cancer supporting with grace. I have much to learn from her.

What makes this situation with Grandma so much easier is how at peace she is with it all. As the rest of the family is running mock ten trying to figure out schedules, decide who is boss and where everyone needs to be at what time, grandma sits at ease wrapped in a blanket listening quietly. 

It's going to be alright. 

I just need to tap into Grandma Haak's peace.

{ Grandma Haak receiving the quilt with hand made cards & stories too. }

{ A few tears; not of sadness, but of complete JOY! }

It was in a way therapeutic to tie this quilt together. I feel like I've processed my emotions and have helped the kids (mainly Addi) understand that not everyone will get cancer. In that, the kids together wrote a short story about Grandma Haak as a way to think positively about her rather then think of her being sick. Grandma is best known for her chips and dip and the puzzle table with a close third being all the Tom & Jerry films the kids have watched at Grandma's. The story is quite cute but the kids didn't want me to share it…I will later.

For now, we are confident that Grandma is wrapped in the best HAND-made gift possible. It is a quilt that symbolizes love, prayer, and family, but most importantly faith. Faith that God will see us through this. Faith that God will be with Grandma in and out of surgery. Faith that God will protect our family from fighting three different cancer battles and faith that God is STILL GOOD.  

After awhile of this business you start to know how you process and I'm thankful God shook me up, but now has my attention again. Truth is, our extended family, well, we're not all that close and some just met for the first time. If this does anything, let it bring us back together again because nothing is stronger than family. Blood or not. We're apart of a bigger family of Christ and that's all that matters as we pray fervently for Grandma, Dad and Traci. 

The three cancer fighting family members that need all 

hands on deck in support for them. 

As for my hands…

folded and begging God to protect us from any more diagnoses or diseases.