That's A Wrap: 2017 Top Ten

In attempts to close up the year 2017, my first thought is to shut the door and not look back. 

It's been rough. 

But, as all emails are signed and I encourage myself to find these daily, come the blessings that have become the backbone to the year holding many of us upright. 

Tim brought to my attention some of the highlights from the year, which for many would knock them over and never want to hit replay again. I know how we're still standing,
but honestly, the year it's been should have destroyed us. 

It is solely by faith and our Abba Daddy Himself that has protected us under His wings, given rest when needed, held us up at the right moments, and given us nourishment before our bodies gave out, that we are here as a family at the end of 2017. 

For that, I am thankful and beyond blessed to be wrapping up this year with smiles,
tears and anticipation for the year to come. 

As I reflect over the past 365 days, I see the good; I see the bad. I remember the wins and the massive fails. The bright spots that kept me going to the next day. And even the non-important things that stood out too.
To all those who have been the crutch under my arm when I had no strength to move; thank you. For the prayers spoken when none of us had any voice to speak; thank you. To those who made us laugh, cleaned our house, watched our babies and picked up the pieces; thank you.
It took a village this year to get to the end. 

Here are a few of the top ten favorites; good & bad, along with memories from 2017. 

Top Ten Words That Best Describe 2017:
1. Joy
2. Goodness
3. Monumental
4. Grief
5. Challenged
6. Astonishment
7. Disappointment
8. Bi-Polar Emotions
9. Refreshment
10. Stillness

Top Ten Kids' Memories:

1. Charlie's basketball team experiences; 3 on 3, LYS, Gritworks

2. Myriam learning how to ride a bike

3. Addi started wearing make-up

4. Baylee learning all her ABC's and numbers

5. Disneyland trip with Addi & Daddy

6. Addi started attending Ebenezer leaving no kids to homeschool for Mommy

7. Auntie dying

8. Charlie got his first gun

9. Addi got a car. Thanks Auntie. 

10. Disney Cruise & hotel swimming pools

Top Ten Dad & Mom Memories:

1. Costa Rica 

2. Breaking my toe so severely which forced me to defer my big canyon race
3. Air Force One tour

4. Small group & Bible Study friendships

5. Restructuring of our Elements family

6. Cambodia trip with Tim's Dad

7. Listening to Francis Chan

8. Summer motorcycle trip with the guys

9. KOA Camping trip with our family

10. Being present to walk my sister Home to Glory; an extremely bittersweet moment

Top Ten Pinterest Success & Fails:

1. Bailey's Chocolate Mousse - Win HERE

2. Sausage & Pepper Spaghetti Squash Casserole - Fail HERE

3. Olive Garden Zuppa Toscana Soup - Win HERE

4. Hinds Feet on High Places - Best Read Ever; Win HERE

5. Easy Cinnamon Rolls - First time ever baking these & it was a Win! HERE

6. Skinny Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins - Kid Win HERE

7. Sweet Potato Turkey Soup - Jury's still out on this one. HERE

8. My Little Pony Cupcake Cake - Good Attempt

9. Philly Cheese Steak Sliders - Win HERE

10. Christmas Potpourri Printable Gift Tags - Teacher Win HERE

Top Ten Blog Posts:

1. The Last Time I Held Her Hand - with 2552 hits HERE

2. Her Words; Her Story HERE

3. 150 Times of Intentional Asking HERE
4. She's Finally Ours HERE

5. The Realities of Grief HERE

6. Tissues on the Dragon Boat HERE

7. 4 Gals, 3 Floaties, & A Few Pina Colada's HERE

8. These Four Words HERE

9. Sweet Hour of Prayer HERE

10. My Tribute: Daughter, Sister, Friend HERE

Happy New Year's Eve.

I welcome you, 2018, with great excitement.

Merry & Bright

{ Merry Christmas 2017... }

Picture snapped in realtime chaos, illness, meltdowns, emotional breakdowns & cheer.

What's Going On?

 

Well, I was not expecting the wave of grief that slapped me across the face on Thanksgiving. Mom had the table set up days before the meal was even in the oven having everyone sitting just so. What she didn't take into account was that dinner was served during Baylee's nap time leaving an open seat at the table empty. Dad said "Amen." We all looked up, and in unison, our eyes fell to the empty plate and 

seat that instantly provoked tears. 

There is this oddly strange feeling of tug-of-war between joy and sadness. The bi-polar opposite of having no words, no measurement to explain the longing I have for my sweet sister and in the same moment experiencing overwhelming joy knowing she's free of pain and disease. I would, simply put, explain my condition as being an, at most times, hot mess! 

Thanks to the glass of wine it took the edge off and allowed me to relax some with the family. 

No guarantees for Christmas on having my crap together. 

We celebrated Myriam's sixth birthday with a Pinterest attempted Pony Cupcake Cake! Oh, she loved it! Can't say Addi and I nailed it, but at least you knew what it was suppose to be. Baylee helped herself to the leftovers the next day as we set up Christmas lights outside. She obviously enjoyed the treat as did Myriam sneaking many herself.

4 Gals, 3 Floaties, & A Few Pina Colada's

Ladies only boys. 

Yep, that means husbands, it's time to shine while the wives and eldest daughter take to the beaches and take a dive. 

A trip that has been postponed and rescheduled many a times in attempt to get all the sisters on board; to have our health well enough to withstand travel. 

My sister never made it to our much talked about girls trip. The location changed many times over to accommodate her failing health. With plenty of pushing, nudging and talking ourselves into going, we finally took this trip that has been in the works for almost two years. 

Mom, my sister-in-law Lindsay, Addison and I flew out last week to Kona, Hawaii, where we remembered, laughed, cried and relished in the presence of each other. 

It felt wrong to not have Traci with us; the process of grief that ebbs and flows much like the waves that crashed on the shoreline. A different memory with every wave; the lasting pink in the sunsets that spoke to the legacy left behind. 

{ Toting. }

I had the privilege to hear Francis Chan speak at the University of the Nations (YWAM Kona) the night we arrived. My girlfriend, Catherine, picked me up while the other three found dinner on the Kona strip. The anxiousness of doing this trip without my sister slowly eased as the worship began in the open air auditorium filled with all ages. I could sense God calm the longings that torment and tease my heart to hear or touch my sweet sister. This opportunity to be refreshed in worship and learn from Chan, was the perfect way to begin this girls trip. 

{ Loved these moments. }

A Sweet Six Years Old

{ two weeks old. }

{ three months old. }

Hard to believe our middle Princess is turning six today. 

I feel like once you need two hands to show people how old you are, it starts the countdown to high school, college and moving out. I see our Myriam's life whisk by now that she needs an extra thumb to show us her age. Her looks have changed overnight from our little girl to grown child that thinks she's already a teen. 

How did this happen? 

It was just yesterday we drove her birth parents to the hospital and anticipated her birth. It was just yesterday we brought her home and introduced her to the rest of our family. It feels like just yesterday that we celebrated her first birthday. 

Reality tells me time has not stopped and Myriam indeed is celebrating her 

sixth birthday whether I like it or not. 

Adoption Day Celebrations

We've waited for this day to come for many months; being told it was going to happen back in early spring, then June and after that, we stopped guessing when we'd actually get a court date. 

In all the waiting, I went through two Adoption Day shirts and finally decided to make the summer top work for the raining day we had this week regardless if it was too small or cold. I was not going to give any reason to push back our court date and refused to get another picture perfect shirt made. As it was, all the adorable and poised Pinterest photos failed because we have entered the realm of terrible, busy two's that don't work well for those "sit still" smiles.

Distraction number one: Stairs. 

Distraction number two: Fall Back time change has the Little's waking up at
5am making the 9 o'clock hour almost nap time.

Distraction number three: Mommy asked me too and that prompts an
immediate opposite response from toddlers.

I thought taking some pictures before the court room would solve some of these issues, but clearly this was all too much to ask. I have to laugh looking at this picture because Myriam, out of the kindness and helpful hands she has, offered to hold the sign for Baylee who was adamantly against such a thing resulting in what now looks like Myriam being the child adopted from foster care. 

She's Finally Ours

656 days in foster care. 

Baylee came into our care on January 22nd, 2016, at just 12 days old, becoming legally free in March 2017.

November 9th, 2017 she became ours. 

When we received the email regarding a healthy baby, we honestly didn't have much more information aside from Baylee only needing two to three weeks of care. We didn't know she was a girl until about an hour before leaving the house to meet her at the office downtown. Tim was still on a business trip as I scrambled to gather enough basic needs for the first couple days. The twin bed still in place as Mia left the day before after spending a week with our family. With Addi by my side, we walked into the office with many unknowns; the biggest of what is this baby going to look like? This is what was delivered to our office room and after a few signed documents we were out the door and on our way home. 

 

I met Baylee's Tummy Mommy the next Monday where we exchanged phone numbers and began our relationship. Visits started up a few weeks later along with the typical court hearings to determine shelter care and dependency. We were blessed to have an awesome social worker who shared our same Jesus following beliefs and became part of the family in this journey. Kristi and Ashley, Bee's visit supervisor, are the hero's in the system of foster care. They were comfort when we sent Baylee out the door for a visit, flexible getting to know our family and always putting Bee's needs first. 

{ Two weeks old. Credit goes to the SNAPsisters who have captured Baylee's life on film. }

I'm Different

This past summer, when Myriam was having some playtime at Papa and Nana's house, she made a statement that caught my Dad off guard and demanded follow-up when I picked her up.
We've never not hidden the fact that she has different color skin than the rest of us. We have a library selection of books that speak into adoption, skin color and how Jesus loves us all regardless of looks. We've had an open adoption from the beginning and continue to have some contact with a few relatives. Myriam's little mind has heard all these things, but we're seeing a new trend in curiosity and conversation about how she came to be.

"Papa, I'm different than the rest of my family."

Our Summer Dayz Recap

Another sizzling summer with high temps, seldom bored kids and nap times to squeeze into our playtime. Addison had many successful lemonade stands again this year and almost weekly dips with her bestie at Grandma's pool. Charlie continued his American Ninja Warrior training with all the neighborhood boys as well as more football card trading and cycling. The kids did the usual stop in for food, go to friends, grab more food, onto the next house and back again to make the rotation in the afternoon. 

A few more highlights were...

Addi and Annie volunteering at Day Camp while Charlie went as a camper

LC Basketball Camp

Birthday Parties

Swimming lessons with Teacher Shannon

Edaline Ice Cream 

3 on 3 Razz Festival Tournament

Sleepovers

Charlie going on work trips with Daddy

Motorcycle Rides 

Blueberry Picking

and enjoying summers best with BBQ's.

 The little girls loved going on bike rides this past summer. Even if they were short rides around the corner or longer ones to visit friends; they ended with smiles or tears. Last month, when some of our Portland friends were visiting, Myriam insisted on riding her friends' bike with no training wheels. With zero prior help, and only time on Baylee's balance bike, our super girl Myriam adamantly said she could do this. And you know what...SHE DID! Tessa didn't get her bike back the rest of the afternoon as Mimi was so proud of herself and excited to be free of training wheels!

It's a Teenagers Life Now

Addison summed it up herself when making this poster for above her locker. 

What I would add to this list is...

Compassionate, caring, always willing to serve others and her family, creative, talented, 

confident, brave and courageous. 

I'm struggling to believe we have a teenager in our home because I know that come tomorrow she'll be driving away to college. We kept the celebrations low-key, per her requests, this year with a trip to DQ for blizzards and a dinner of buttered noodles at her favorite, Olive Garden. If I had my way I'd have balloons, streamers and a massive cake, but that's simply not our daughter. Instead, we sat together early in the morning, on the couch, sipping our coffee as I got mushy with Mom-Talk about reciting how proud I was of our oldest baby. 

A Camping We All Must Go

With summer coming to an end, we decided to load the kids and gear into the motorhome for one last trip before school started. We found a few great camping sites, but settled in at the KOA campgrounds. The older kids quickly located where the arcade games were along with the candy store. I went into action preventing others from finding such treasures while distracting with walks and making new friends at the playground. 

I played a mean game of horseshoes with Addi while Charlie pedaled himself to exhaustion around the sites. He was so proud of himself as he paid with all his own money to sweat and gain tired legs. 

There was a decent swimming pool that both Charlie and Myriam enjoyed for sometime and of course afternoon snacks of hot chocolate and Oreos. 

Paper, Pens and School Books

Addison Jean: 7th Grade

Ebenezer Christian School

Shoe Size: 8 

This makes the first year, aside from two years in preschool, that Addi is attending traditional school. This comes with some level of curiosity with many unknowns and moments of being uncomfortable, but overall, the transition has been going okay. I would dare say the biggest change after seven years of homeschooling is the long days beginning with catching the bus at 7:30am. 

He Provides

“And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “ On this mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” 

Genesis 22:13-14

It is an undeniable truth: we live in a land rich with fertile soil providing crops for consumption and fuel for our animals; landscapes to explore and gaze at in all directions with heights from snow peaked mountains to ocean waves lapping on the sandy shorelines. Communities of neighbors and relatives engaging, nurturing and entertaining each other. God will need to hand pluck me from this community if He ever plans on me going somewhere else, as I’m not sure it gets any better, other than Heaven. 

Confessions From a Campsite Playground

“This is my rubber horsey not my plastic one. It’s just soft rubber. I don’t mind if I share my horse with you. It’s actually not even a horse; it’s a pony. My Mommy only buys me the plastic ones because they're cheap.” said four year old Mia. 

With a few bangs inches longer than the rest, she continued to sputter her words at me with a slight lisp as neither seemed to bother her conversation or the fact that I was a complete stranger. 

“My Daddy didn’t come camping with us because he doesn't like to camp so he stayed home and worked on our house in said city because he does good work on a big tractor and my Mommy does good with a tent. That’s my friend, but I sometimes don’t like to share with her and these are her horses that she brought here.”

These Days Hurt

National Sisters Day.

Well, this one hurts.
Darn Hallmark Holidays.
It would be much easier if everyday could be national donut day, chocolate day or running day without having to hit the heart strings with these silly reminder days. 

I gave my Honey a few days warning that today could be emotional and challenging. 

Years past, Traci and I would acknowledge each other on days like today expressing our love,
and even hate, for each other.
All I have today is a flat gravestone staring back at me with no voice, phone call, Face Time
or handwritten card to read. 

Big Time Lake Dayz

Last week our family along with the Ellis family, took East to Oroville for some relaxation and play. The car ride over was uneventful with a few roadside stops for bladder release and snack grabbing. Once we made it to Big Time Lane the fun was instantly had with floaties being blown up, swimsuits on and kids itching to get on the boat. Baylee was quick to drop a terd in the lake which made a great first impression. This was our first time vacationing together, but with the natural ease of our families you would have thought it was a yearly event. Such grace was given for many occasions. 

Lord knows we all needed the down time and we got it. Having a normal size kitchen to feed our tribes was a huge blessing and especially the option of having a quiet space for the younger ladies who at times need to find silence. Not to mention the three showers to rinse the stink off all the littles being a bonus that came with the house. 

Thank you to Tim who did almost all the breakfast and dinner making for us and most often the clean up too. I am so blessed. 

Hakuna Matata. Yeah right. Easier said than done. 

Letting Freedom Ring

We really had no concrete plans for our 4th this year besides knowing Daddy would be at the International Convention singing with his barbershop buddies and rooming with his Dad. 

Charlie spent a few days at Sucia Island with Papa and Nana, as well as his cousins, while all the ladies played at home. The princesses met Chuckles at the dock slip after Papa did a fine job of docking with not much assistance. Once everything was secure, we walked around the harbor to the Web Locker for lunch consuming juicy burgers and greasy curly fries. 

It was so worth the abundant calorie consumption and deliciousness. 

Tissues on the Dragon Boat

{ Dr. Look & Traci May 2015 }

My sister was always stubborn and held true to her dutch blood. 

If you wanted to see her fight for something you just had to tell her, 

"No. Don't do that. You can't do that." 

Well, Dr. Look shouldn't have expected anything other than resistance when he told Traci she shouldn't paddle anymore with the fear of her breaking bones due to the cancer that continued to deteriorate her bone strength. Traci refused to accept that reality so she did something about it and created an event which showcased the benefits paddling had to a patients entire being. From physical to emotional, she wanted to prove her point and stay seated in the boat. 

With that, "Paddle with the Pinks" became an every year event where local health care providers who treat patients with BrCa (breast cancer) could experience for themselves the full-body workout and camaraderie of the teammates who meet three times a week for practice. Traci was the first captain of this incredibly special event and outreach program.

This year the team named the Provider Paddle in Traci's name:

2017 Traci Van Dyken Health Care Provider Paddle and Sponsor Recognition

A Picture Glimpse to the Tail End of Spring

You know it's spring when the eyes are itching, house is sneezing and the allergy medication is all out. Many of us have been fighting extreme allergies this season, but we hate to complain as the outside comes to life with greenery, color and that dreaded hay bailing in farm country. 

The kids are now all out of school and LOVING IT! 

Our summer list of to do's are still being edited which is always a fun way to prepare for the one day trips and longer ones too.  Earlier in May, Addison went to the Mercy Me concert with her girlfriend Annie. We watched Baylee's 1/2 brother on a Saturday and have already had trips to Edaline Dairy for cones. (That soft serve craving still exists since the cruise...) Baylee had her first dentist appointment and Myriam has been preparing for her first ever tap dance recital. 

It's been busy, but satisfying watching memories being made. 

Here is a picture glimpse to the tail end of Spring...

Ski to Sea May 28th, 2017

It's a Wrap. School is Done.

 

I can't believe Addison is moving into 7th grade next year. By the picture alone you are able to tell how much this sweet, compassionate, thoughtful and servant-minded daughter of ours has grown. She often will rummage through my closet and we almost wear the same size shoe (she grew two shoe sizes this past year). She essentially taught herself this past year with determination to conquer the hard stuff. (Math is neither of our favorites.) This was Addison's last year of homeschooling through Mp3 and we are both sad and excited for the next adventure. Teacher Jeff has been our Student Learning Plan Coordinator since Kindergarten. Our weekly contact started with phone calls of him talking and Addi listening, slowly graduating to her giving a non-verbal yes or no and then taking on full conversations in person and over the phone. Addi overcame many fears this year giving a stellar TED talk about fostering and adopting in front of her class and creating some fantastic friendships. 

She will be joining her little brother at Ebenezer next fall.

A Milestone to Celebrate

We were young and full of dreams.

We had set ideas and motivation to meet our goals. 

We were in love and crazy about each other. 

We still love to travel together exploring new countries, small towns and meeting people along the way. We still have the ability to sit in a quiet car and be okay with it or lay in bed and have pillow talk until we fall asleep. 

We push each other to be the best. We hold each other accountable and call out faults when needed. We love the same cheesy shows, don't mind a simple street taco dinner and have the talented capability of plowing through a pint of ice cream...each.

The Realities of Grief

The realities of my grief have been as opposite as the east to the west. 

In one moment you can have clear blue, sunny, happy skies over to the West hovering over the islands and to the East, the darkest, meanest black skies coming down in vertical stripes as the clouds open flood gates across the mountains. There is an actual line drawn in the weather pattern that separates the two skies. 

Grief is, and can be, as tumultuous as the stormy skies or as hopeful as a clear blue sunset to the West. 

Because many have asked how my family and I are doing, I thought I'd let you into my world for a brief moment and tell you what the past three months have looked like for us. 

In one word, I'd say it's been 

HARD.

Move On Over Showers

The amount of rain we've had so far this spring is down right crazy. My fingers and toes are constantly in a state of looking like raisins from the dampness in the air. 

(Not really; possibly an over exaggeration.) 

You can walk anywhere on our lawn and the sounds of a wet sponge echo back at you.  There's really no point in washing your car because you know within a few hours nature will wash it again for you. This has been on record a wet season. 

Thankfully, we've managed to find a few bright spots during the wet weeks and I've found some moments to soak up with the kids during spring break. 

Here's a glimpse through the clouds of what's been going at our home...

These Four Words

April has been a month of reflection.

A reconciliation of what Jesus did for us on the cross. A reminder of anniversaries and birthdays. A reminder that eight years ago our marriage came to life. 

I find myself getting lost in thought going back ten years when we wheeled my sister into the operating room for her first surgery a week after receiving her cancer diagnoses. I can hear the words she spoke to me as I told her I loved her. I can see Tim with open arms ready to catch his bride as he surprised me at the hospital in Portland, I remember the first moments after surgery quickly brushing Traci's teeth before visitors came and can smell the Olive Garden dinner that fed the waiting room of friends and family. 

I look back at the first moments in the Mission House post surgery as Mom and I got Traci comfortable before I needed to head back home.

Finding Joy on Our Family Vacation

{ Self-note: Much of this blog is like a yearbook. Sorry for the length of this post. }

This May will mark a year since Gigi passed. My Dad decided rather than investing the inheritance from her deed, he would give our family an experience in Grandma's honor. For six months now we have been planning, preparing and getting excited about our family Disney Cruise. 

It wasn't until a couple months ago that we started to become worried about how it would be made possible with my sisters health. If there was anything she wanted more than her health, it was to see our family go on this cruise. She was adamant about this trip happening. Traci loved to go on cruises and having her nieces and nephews there to experience the fun gave her such joy to look forward to.

We took off from Seatac airport one month exactly after she passed; the wheels leaving the ground almost to the minute she passed. I tried to hide the tears, but this was truly a reality that things happened and my sister would not be with us on this trip. 

Getting Closer to Making It Final

 { Me, Miss Bee and 'N'...or Tummy Mommy as we refer to her as. Posted with permission. }

On March 21st, Miss Bee became legally free getting us that much closer to her adoption day. Her journey becoming one of us has been a joy; quite uneventful compared to most foster situations. Her Tummy Mommy and I chat regularly and just a couple weeks ago met at Perch and Play for a visit. We have a friendship that to others seems odd or unfamiliar, but she's family now regardless how you look at things. Bee's Tummy Mommy has expressed some heartfelt words with me that I will hold tight and share with Bee when she's older. I've learned so much about who she is and her own childhood which ultimately has bonded us. Her decision for Miss Bee's life is respected and will be kept safe until Bee is able to understand.

She Keeps Me Running

{ 7th state race }

The first time back in my running shoes after my sister passed, I found myself on the treadmill with worship music playing starring at a dark gray sky. I caught myself having a conversation with Traci about how I would ever run another race without her telling me right before all the sweet words of encouragement like she would through texts and phone calls. 

The reason why I made the goal of 50 by 50 (50 state races by the age of 50) was to run because she couldn't. It was to run for her, in honor of her and others, with the capability and ability to run and to make memories of traveling all across the country with my sister. We had plans to do big things with these races. We had talked about me running a race after our family cruise in Florida and how excited Traci was that I found a race with such a dear cause; Dash for Downs 5k. She was so excited for me to run! It was a one-sided, possibly a little of an angry toned chat as I sprinted through a few miles hoping to hear 

her voice talk back to me. 

I was almost done with my quick sprint when I was telling her I quit and then...

My Tribute: Daughter, Sister, Friend

I first want to say thank you, on behalf of our family, for walking these past 10 years with us praying, encouraging and showing us support as we cared for our daughter and sister in her fight. It was not only just her fight; it became all of our fight and we can not say how much your willingness to join through prayer and support has meant to all of us. There were successful fundraisers, homes opened up to stay at, meals provided, gas cards given, rides offered to bring Traci to and from treatments or even back home. In boxes above Traci’s closet are every single card written with words of hope, scriptures of truth and sentiments of friendship spoken. Traci clung to your friendships and it is the fuel behind her fight. We humbly ask that you help us finish our Hero’s fight worshipping and celebrating her life, her love for her Jesus and to not focus on her death, but her victory.

Her Words; Her Story

Last November, I found myself gazing on the frozen ground and wanting to find a way to freeze that time with my sister. In communicating these thoughts with Tim, I shared how I desired something I could always have for the kids to see.
Selfishly, I wanted to be able to preserve Traci's voice, her smile, her laughter. 

I knew I needed to ask Traci if this was something she'd be willing to do and without hesitating, Traci was all over the idea of videoing her testimony. She had talked about wanting to do something like this by writing letters, but wasn't sure where to start. It didn't become something grim in creating a film for after she left us. It became a tool in helping us prepare her for this final step in her journey.
The secret of planning this film was so much fun to share together. 

We flew Evan and another cameraman out in February after Traci had learned the cancer had spread once again. Before she was going to loose her hair, we wanted to film her story when she looked relatively healthy. 

The Last Time I Held Her Hand

The last time I held my sisters hand was the first time she stood before her God and Maker. 

Cancer-free.

Complete.

Without pain or scars of her almost ten year journey with breast cancer. 

Surrounded by her family, she peacefully marched her way into glory. 

I say march because that's exactly what Traci did in those last hours here on earth. 

I was originally going to fly down to Portland Thursday morning, but my flight was cancelled the night before leaving me to drive the next morning. I got to Traci's apartment around 10:30am. Mom had told me about the confirmed liver failure a few days before and the turn of yellow in her skin, but seeing in person was much more prominent then I expected. 

Traci and I joked about how yellow was never her color. She said with her cute smirk, "Yeah, it's not my favorite either. It's not that bad though." She was always reassuring me she was okay. 

{ I'm not sure who looks more tired. Taken minutes after arriving to Portland. }

Sweet Hour of Prayer

Sweet sister. You have no idea the hole you left here on earth. I just have no words right now. 

I miss you immensely and it's only been a day. God, this hurts. 

Sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer!
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father's throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escaped the temper's snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!

150 Times of Intentional Asking

Charlie and his Auntie Traci have a special relationship. One that connects them in a sixth sense. 

When one is having a bad day; so is the other. 

When one is struggling emotionally; so does the other.

There is such love, pride and joy in this relationship shared between these two. 

When Charlie started this school year he was proud to raise his hand on the first day of school asking for his classmates to pray for Auntie Traci. He was bold in his asking and it hasn't stopped. 

Multiple times a day, this third grade class prays for Auntie Traci. 

And how do we know it's been 150 times this nephew has asked for prayer? 

Well, he's kept a running tally at his desk. 

Snowmageddon Lost the Scooper

The first snow fell and Charlie was out with the attempts of building an igloo right away. What he forget to do was bring the snow shovel back to the carport before the skies opened up and dumped a foot of snow covering the ground. Needless to say...we lost the shovel and my hopes of finding it by scooting my feet around the so thought area it was last seen in came up empty. It wasn't until Neighbor Rich came and plowed our driveway once the thaw out started that he scooped it up and found it. 

{ Shovel in a snow storm...where are you? }

Happy Birthday Super Papa

With a double excuse to celebrate, we took to the roads and tackled the ride to 

Papa and Nana's for our Birthday Super Bowl Party. 

With all things coconut and carrot cake themed along with wings and bean dip, we had plenty to munch on while Lady Gaga flew through the air and the game got underway. Thinking the game was a given win, we headed home after half-time making it home before trees fell across the Hannegan due to the ice storm and wind. Papa was thrilled to have the hours spent in the afternoon with the kids and the adults were happy to get out of the house...even though we'd be stuck inside for the next week due to the snow storm of 2017. 

Papa, we wish you the happiest of birthday's and we thank Jesus for the most 

awesome Papa a kid could have. 

A Day of Play

A year ago Addison began her journey with orthodontics. 

She started with top braces and the Herbst Appliance which Daddy felt terribly guilty for her having to endure. Addi quickly became squeaky every time she opened her mouth and found many foods unable to eat because of the new jewelry. Somewhere in this process, Tim made a deal that in a year when it is removed, the two of them would take a day trip to Disneyland. No where in the paperwork did I sign up for that agreement, but with these two big kids, it was going to be impossible to stop them. 

Last week the day came when the Herbst came out and bottom braces were glued on. 

Done. Flights booked and bags packed.

Off they went for a day of Daddy-Daughter play. What Tim didn't think about was this was the first of four kids that will most likely all need the same orthodontic process...hmmm...do for one; do for all.

Have fun kids...

The Mill Inn

I was going to do a 2016 recap, but there is only one main event that deserves its own recap. There were many other amazing things that happened, people we met, places we went or little ones that joined our family, but this, this I am so proud of for many reasons. 

Let me explain and be the first to introduce...

(Well, I'm not really the first as this is months late past the formal introduction.)

The Mill Inn. 

Miss Bee Turns One

It is such a joy to celebrate birthdays and especially the very first birthday of a little person.
Miss Bee turned one this week (January tenth) and of course we had to celebrate with smash cakes, goodies and a visit from our friend Jodi for professional pictures. (Will try to share a few, but unfortunately we still need to leave no Internet footprint for the safety of Miss Bee.)

We invited our family and friends over to join in the celebration and watch as Miss Bee enjoyed her first tasting of something super sweet; frosting. 

One tradition that will now become a yearly part of this one's birthday celebrations is Baylee's Chocolate Mousse. Yep, her namesake will take shape into yummy adult only treats given to all those who suffer through boring birthday parties where the kids will never remember details besides through pictures. Thanks Pinterest for the recipe.