This past summer, when Myriam was having some playtime at Papa and Nana's house, she made a statement that caught my Dad off guard and demanded follow-up when I picked her up.
We've never not hidden the fact that she has different color skin than the rest of us. We have a library selection of books that speak into adoption, skin color and how Jesus loves us all regardless of looks. We've had an open adoption from the beginning and continue to have some contact with a few relatives. Myriam's little mind has heard all these things, but we're seeing a new trend in curiosity and conversation about how she came to be.
"Papa, I'm different than the rest of my family."
This was the first time Myriam has acknowledged that her physical traits are vastly different than ours. It's the first time she's mentioned it to someone other than our immediate family. Sure, she notices we have different color hair and eyes, but she's always seen that as surface value.
This time was different when she made the statement.
I knew I needed to address it immediately and actually, the conversation continued for days later.
I approached it with a story about God's garden giving her a visual image to connect her emotions to truth.
I explained that when God created the earth and everything in it, He made things different from the very beginning of time. Jesus wanted a garden, His earth, to be full of life, full of color and having a variety of all types of flowers and animals.
Jesus wanted tall flowers, short ones, different sizes, colors, some with scents and some without. Having a garden of just one type of flower or color would become boring to look at and that's why God gave me white color skin and Myriam butterscotch.
"If you only had the same toy and nothing else, it would get kind of boring, right? What if you only ate the same thing all day long, every day?"
Myriam was intrigued by this story and concept of having a huge garden. My Dad amazed that I could so quickly turn it into a lesson. I reminded him to always go back to the automatic Sunday School answer; Jesus, God, Lord and Savior.
Recently, we had Myriam spit in a tube and submitted the sample for the 23 and Me test, which gave us genetic and ancestry results. We were a little surprised to find out that she's not what we had originally been told her ethnic background was, but quite rather something different. She still rings true to her spunky, curious and feisty personality which makes her exactly the daughter God wanted us to parent, but now knowing where she comes from gives us just a smidge more background of who she really is. Our Egyptian Princess if you may say so...Spanish and Liberian decent with small percentages from surrounding countries give us description into what type of flower our daughter is in God's garden.
We all want to know how we came to be; where we came from and to know our family history. When you have adoption in your story line it becomes somewhat of a challenge to figure out some of these details. Some are easier to come by than others.
With our two little girls it's been relatively easy to gather their story line.
We are so incredibly thankful for that as someday our girls will ask questions we'll need to answer.
Embracing the fact that God made us each for His garden and gave each of us our own purpose makes answering these questions a little less traumatic. This will not be the last time Myriam inquires about the differences she sees within her family. Our prayer is that we as parents, can instill the identity we have in Christ first before judging how we look compared to the rest of the world.
Baby girl, yes, you have much tanner skin than Mommy. But, I'm different from you too and that's exactly how God made it to be.
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