“And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “ On this mount of the Lord it shall be provided.”
Genesis 22:13-14
It is an undeniable truth: we live in a land rich with fertile soil providing crops for consumption and fuel for our animals; landscapes to explore and gaze at in all directions with heights from snow peaked mountains to ocean waves lapping on the sandy shorelines. Communities of neighbors and relatives engaging, nurturing and entertaining each other. God will need to hand pluck me from this community if He ever plans on me going somewhere else, as I’m not sure it gets any better, other than Heaven.
A few weeks back I took the kids blueberry picking to the family farm where the majestic Canadian Rockies stood bright and tall at the edge of the fields watching us as we went row to row filling our buckets full of plump berries. The sun providing a blanket of warmth on our summer bronzed shoulders; the birds singing a tune with every berry placed in our bowls. I melted into my Aunt’s arms as the emotion of another first-time without my sister hit me stepping out of the car.
This was one of her favorite summer activities and places to visit as deep roots of family memories were planted from childhood through our adult lives at the farm. With every berry carefully hand-picked and placed in bowls, so were berries placed in mouths with sticky fingers and hungry tummies; even green ones tart and sour. We picked enough to supply ourselves a freezer full plus having fresh berries to snack on. It is amazing how many berries can grow on one bush. Loaded, hanging low to the ground. They don’t taste any better than fresh from the bush.
Do you ever wonder if they had blueberries in Abraham’s time? Even earlier, did Adam and Eve experience the taste of Northwest berries like we do? When was the first blueberry bush discovered? Did you know that there are berry chemists who create new varieties every year? Is there a limit to how many more varieties we need and do old varieties ever retire naturally?
“Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.” Genesis 9:3
Some argue that up to this point in Genesis, men and women only ate vegetation (1:28-30) as man only began to eat meat after the great flood and even then kept to Levitical law
not eating unclean creatures. (2:16) God had given Adam and Eve permission to eat from every tree before He gave them restriction after their sin. In considering how far our diets have come, it makes me wonder if we took the permission and restriction out of context and pushed the idea of providing for ourselves to far. Do we trust God to provide all our needs or do we lack faith and rely too much on stocking our own pantry with unhealthy varieties of nutrition?
not eating unclean creatures. (2:16) God had given Adam and Eve permission to eat from every tree before He gave them restriction after their sin. In considering how far our diets have come, it makes me wonder if we took the permission and restriction out of context and pushed the idea of providing for ourselves to far. Do we trust God to provide all our needs or do we lack faith and rely too much on stocking our own pantry with unhealthy varieties of nutrition?
This past year has proven, yet again, that God is gracious to those that depend on Him, and provided everything we needed in every situation regardless if we agreed with the outcome or process. Allow me to give you insight into a few of these situations where God has provided for us.
There has been months of legal battles at work causing stressful meetings, what Tim believes to be angels randomly stopping by his office praying for the company and staff, hard decision making and countless extra travel miles to address issues at bay. The weight of this work has nearly sunk some of us under the stress and yet, there are lessons that have been learned through it all. Hard as it may be, we still believe there is purpose in this battle.
There has been months of legal battles at work causing stressful meetings, what Tim believes to be angels randomly stopping by his office praying for the company and staff, hard decision making and countless extra travel miles to address issues at bay. The weight of this work has nearly sunk some of us under the stress and yet, there are lessons that have been learned through it all. Hard as it may be, we still believe there is purpose in this battle.
The emotional difficulty and parental weariness of raising a child with trauma induced struggles has added to the pool of tears as well. Many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep with the guilt of not being able to protect our girl from an unhealthy pregnancy, resulting in daily battles of making less than good choices. We’ve made some good friends along the way teaching us new strategies to approach some of our daily struggles, but it’s exhausting when you constantly, hourly, remind others to be calm and gentle.
It’s common to be judged by those around you and in social settings when your little girl looks normal from the outside, but inside she decides most every decision out of fear and panic. Last year at the Northwest Washington Fair we had a situation come up where I literally had mom’s four feet from me tilt their noses at me and say in a voice meant not to be heard, “Get it under control mom.” It took over thirty minutes to calm our girls body down with all the Karyn Purvis methods possible, regardless of the looks I received, and even then, she never returned to a neutral position. So in attempts to not one-up last year, we stayed home in a controlled environment.
Recently, there has been frustration as our insurance company has chosen which therapy and tests should be approved regardless of the recommendations from our pediatricians and specialists. This only adds to the strain when we medically can’t address some of the basics.
Adoption was never part of the original plan, but because of sin, God provides grace to His children and gave us the responsibility to care for our little girls. We are nearing the point of finalizing Baylee’s adoption after almost twenty months in care. There have been some strenuous moments in the process along with emotional hardships and tears over the lives burdened by generational sin. My mama heart has broken many times over and in the same moment sees glimpses of hope and change for those we have met in this foster journey.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
This week marked six months since my sister passed away. She wanted nothing more than to witness the adoption of Baylee. I may never come to a complete understanding of why Traci had to get cancer and leave this earth so early; never being able to experience having a family of her own. I will never come to agreement with the timing of her death. God’s plan is to never be questioned; some things never to be answered.
Be as it may, God still provided through all of these things!!
The beauty of God’s provision can be found in the simplicity of a single blueberry. Some of the benefits have been proven to ward off heart disease, prevent cancers, lower blood pressure, maintain healthy bones and even improve mental illness along with fighting off wrinkles. (Can I get an amen to that?!!) As I went along the sagging rows of the Pangborn Farm, the word "Provider" kept coming to mind. For sometime, I’ve found myself being caught up in much of the hard stuff of life trying desperately to seek the joy in everything. I do see God in much of it all, but there is the human part of me that gets lost in emotions and quickly becomes buried under the weight of all that we have going on.
What struck me on this day was all that God HAS provided for our family and continues to provide through some of the most simple forms of nutritional value. Yes, our home has some issues with wall paper being peeled off, floors popping up and unknowns hiding in our walls, but our home also provides stability for our family with a place to lay our heads down at night, protected from the elements of the outdoors.
Our neighborhood has given our children a safe haven to play in on these summer days and share in the celebrations of life. We live in a community that provides nutritious value to the dinner table with fields of crops growing tall and we’re apart of a church that feeds our souls. We have a huge network of supportive friendships that speak encouragement into our daily lives and laughter to lighten up the heavy moments.
Our neighborhood has given our children a safe haven to play in on these summer days and share in the celebrations of life. We live in a community that provides nutritious value to the dinner table with fields of crops growing tall and we’re apart of a church that feeds our souls. We have a huge network of supportive friendships that speak encouragement into our daily lives and laughter to lighten up the heavy moments.
I believe if Abraham came to visit the Northwest he would shout with such boldness and confidence, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On this mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” I can confidently say the Lord has provided everything we’ve needed over the past year through all the intense battles we’ve fought and will continue to fight.
Even on the days where the smoke bogs our views from sight, I know that beyond the haze are those majestic mountains that remind us of the Creator who set all of this into motion. Not to say there haven’t been sacrifices along the way; there certainly has been. Part of me believes that some were due to us being risk takers and the other being God stretching our comfort zones in order to give us a glimpse of his affection towards us.
Abraham was ready to sacrifice his own son - that’s a huge risk - but he was willing to make that sacrifice in obedience to God. He knew, without a doubt, God would still provide for him. I want that boldness in my faith; believing God will provide no matter what is given or taken away…He still provides.
The challenge I give to myself is this: Whether its one blueberry or a freezer full, I look to seek a heart attitude of thankfulness for what God sees I need and trust that in everything, He will provide for my physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
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