Crossing my Red Sea

This week has many implications of past disappointments, struggles, hardships, and pain. A week where lives were lost, dreams crushed, jobs altered, and discouraging reports shared.  I felt I was standing with my toes dipped in the Red Sea, but my heart didn't have the energy to cross. I found myself angry this week from the simple exhaustion of running alongside My Hero's strong fight with cancer. I'm proud to fight with her, rejoice with her, and tell others that she's my sister. Its just tiring to watch others suffer with her pain. Standing at my waters edge, I faced the memory of Grandpa Van Dyken passing away suddenly 10 years ago, my Dad telling me he had prostate cancer, or just a few years ago when My Hero was told her cancer had spread...Over the years this seemed to all fall within one week of each other.

"When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt. So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle."  Exodus 13:17-18

It has caused some to hate this time of year and has blinded eyes to the miracles at the bottom of the sea. Chasing me was the fear of what test results would haunt my sleep and consume my mind.  Concern of how to deal with roller coaster emotions and anger of how it has stolen much joy over the years expended me. Not being able to "fix" issues and problems plays games on my mind and taints my view on my possibilities. All of this has some level of bondage in my heart and the devil continues
to have some grip in my life not allowing my feet to move.

"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night The Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their rights
and on their left."  Exodus 14:21-22

It's hard to comprehend what passed through Moses' mind when his toes dipped the waters edge of the Red Sea. To have the children of Israel depending on you as your enemies draw closer had to have been an intense moment for Moses and yet, he stayed calm crying out to God. Never did Moses allow his fear or lack of limitations in God stop his pursuit to the Promised Land. How many times have I put God in a box and not allowing Him to show His powers and part my Red Sea? How many times have I allowed situations to overcome and disappointments to steal my joy from the gift that came so beautifully wrapped in a manger? I'm embarrassed (and human) to say that it's more times then I'd like to admit.

"Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance The Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  Exodus 14:13-14

When I'm placed at battles edge, I need Moses to SCREAM from behind me to, "Go forward!" When the tides of life lap at my feet, rather then fear and worry to settle, I need to find my staff, grip tightly, and allow God to show His faithfulness to me and trust that He will be enough to part the murky, scary, un-navigated situations I stumble upon. I need a Moses-like attitude. 
Self-doubt robs too many potential opportunities. Lack of faith results in mountains not moved. I'd love to say that I never struggle with any of these things, but we live in a fallen world where each and everyone of us has a (or many) Red Sea's to cross. Some more then others. Whether its a struggle in a relationship, financial worries, health battles, or day in and out worries; we all contemplate how we will cross over to dry land. "Be still."

"Then the Lord said to Moses,"Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea to dry ground. I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen."  Exodus 14:15-18

As My Hero received news that her test results stayed relatively the same, I found I could breath a little easier..."Be still." Ten years earlier, God gave us a sunrise promise that Grandpa was at peace. We had that same stunning sunrise promise the morning of the doctors appointment as a way of saying, "I've got this. Be at peace and remain in Me." I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't able to run with ease across the sea this week, but I pray as today continues on and tomorrow approaches, I can run freely with hope, faith, and a strong grip on His Staff that will part the sea and protect me until I plant my feet on dry land. I can see God patiently sitting seaside, gently whispering to me, "Be still." And then there's Moses yelling at me, "Don't look back; just GO FORWARD." 

"And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant."  Exodus 14:31

So, I move forward with faith, trusting that God will hold the raging waters of life upright, as I pass through my Red Sea and attempt to see the beauty in the situation rather then being swallowed up by the fears of circumstance.
And in those moments...I'll just be still.

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