It was just two and a half years ago that our oldest, Addison Jean, struggled with selective mutism. As hard as it was for us it was SOOOOOOOOO much harder for her. Sixteen months of silence in church settings, no communication at family get togethers, longing for friendships but not sure how to navigate them, two years of preschool without a word spoken...it was frustrating to say the least. Addi would go to her cousins house for sleepovers and the only voice heard was laughter or a lip-pressed "ugh hmm." Questions that required more than a yes or no were always asked of her. Rude remarks made and questioning of her mental health were voiced to me when thought of Addison's ear shot was at distance. She had a friend from preschool that came to play and quickly put Addi at ease when she said, "Don't worry Addison. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. I'll do all the talking for us both!!!" The girls played fantastically, without pressure, for hours!
Tim and I were told to see a specialist and to get her on medication. We used our own medication that had been taught to us from an early age: PRAYER. We prayed over her, encouraged her, we made Addi feel special no matter what others thought or said, we went with her pace, and spent silly hours at Papa and Nana's house in the bathroom, door shut and in the bath tub, as Addison squeaked out a small voice. Finally, she found the courage to speak to me in nervous places outside of walls and around corners from others.
And then, November of 2010, the kids had an evening date at my parents house. We left the new iPad there as an interactive way to play with the old folks but little did we know it would be the iPad that brought out the voice. Addison sat on Papa's lap and STARTING TEACHING PAPA HOW TO USE IT....WITH HER VOICE!!!!!!!! You can only imagine the reaction that got from my parents and me, who had been for months saying "don't react! Act normal!" was in the background saying those same words as dad sat there with tears in his eyes.
Fast forward years later and Addison has done an AMAZING job of overcoming her fear, worry, stress, and fought back with faith, prayer, and courage. So many little things have been done that would NEVER have been done two years prior. Raising her hand at Sunday School and answering questions in front of many other kids is a huge accomplishment. This past week is a prime example...
I had taken Addison out on a date and was asking her about her friends and if there was anyone at church she would want to invite over to come and play. Indeed there was! So when we got home, Addi quickly made the cutest invitation for her friend Olivia to come and play. THIS WAS SO BIG!!! On the next Sunday, we found out who Olivia's mommy was and we now will have a play date on Thursday. I think of "faith of a mustard seed" and see how it was COURAGE of a small seed that needed to be planted in order for our baby girl to make these, what seems simple, but are HUGE actions!
Take it one step further and I made Addison interview another friend, Jesse, about what it's like to be deaf. When I first told her what she needed to do, I was met with tears and resistance. As we have been studying the life of Helen Keller, I thought what better than to ask what it's really like with someone who we see and interact with regularly. After some coaching, Addi nervously interviewed Jesse yesterday which for young ones was comical. Question and answers...simple answers. It was done in probably less than a minute!! But it was bigger than just a simple second grade school project. Years earlier and we would have never put Addison in this position and she would have never imagined doing this either!
God is so good. We never question why Addi had to walk this very difficult road and have to fight through nerves and still lingering cloud of being shy BUT, we are thankful that God has taught her to be brave. Tears of frustration are now tears of joy and one of being a proud parent to the most amazing daughter with a heart full of compassion, full of love, who is selfless, graceful, and who is always looking out for her family. She is a helper during the day with her siblings, a referee, an AWESOME big sister, and one who likes to be a kid. She is our Addi Jean and we can't be more proud of the simple things in life that she has overcome. God is bigger than a simple problem that seems impossible to overcome. Simple is relative. Maybe someday Addi will surprise us all and become a famous speaker to millions...I know that whatever it is will be met with fierce courage and bravery.
