The Puppy Project: Introducing Millie

For the past five years, one of our kids (mainly Addison) has requested a dog for Christmas. Tim and I have always had an easy out: Dad's allergic. Now, let me clarify. 
Tim grew up with dogs and I have never heard stories of him sneezing or complaints of him having allergic reactions to the multiple childhood pets that passed through the home. I have indeed seen him become irritated by dogs with allergy symptoms but again, haven't determined the extent of the dog allergy. I believe it was real for a purpose over the past five years to distract from the strong desire our kids have all had for pets. 
Beginning in November, Addison increased her efforts of owning a dog to the extreme. Tim challenged her to write a paper detailing the ownership responsibilities of having a pet. Sure, we've had a bunny and bird prior to today, but that's honestly nothing compared to the daily tasks of owning a dog. 
Addison took her challenge seriously emailing us a four page research/persuasive paper that had plagiarism at its finest. This girl explained types of dogs for children and those strongly discouraged, what type of ingredients to look for in food, discipline training options, benefits of owning a dog, potential dog sitters, name choices for both boy or girl puppies and so much more. Here's a taste of the opening lines...

"Today, we will be talking about why Horky J. Broersma needs a puppy. There are many, many reasons why she would need a dog, but today we are just going to talk about the main points.
So rumors have been going around that Ms. Horky’s father doesn’t think that she will take care of a dog and be responsible enough to take care of a dog. Well, Ms. Horky’s father, you better be listening to this right now because its about to get real. I have heard that Horky had a rabbit when she was younger, and that her father keeps bringing that up. Well, first of all, you can’t play with a rabbit. You can play with a dog though. Another reason that the rabbit did not work out was because it was an outside pet. Outside pets are always a bit less fun to take care of. "

Addison continued on with her rant as Tim and I read her hilarious display of desperation to own a dog. By the time we read The Puppy Project, Tim had already began the search for breeders of cavapoos which was clearly defined as the desired breed best suited for our family's needs. On our way down to Portland earlier this month, we called a local breeder and had Auntie Becky be our eyes on the then, five week old puppies. There were three girls to choose from and Auntie did a great job determining which was the most playful, adorable and engaged. That was the beginning of December...We now had the almost impossible task of not telling anyone, deleting any and all text threads or photos, and changing all passwords on all devices in order to cover our top secret puppy tracks in order to keep the surprise quiet. 

"So after all that we have gone over the basics of having a dog. The benefits of having a dog. More physical activity, less stress, reduce depression, improve heart health, improve social skills, and detect cancer sooner. We have also gone over the negatives of having a dog. Hiring pet sitters when you are away, costs, and cleaning. We have considered the best types of dogs for your family and the worst. We went over what having a dog will teach you. Patience, responsibility, socializing, loyalty, stay active, gratitude, and love unconditionally. We also went over the needs of a dog, and the best foods and toys.
Studies have shown that people are happier when they have a dog by their side( not just at someone else's house ). From my experience, everyone that I know with a dog, is so much happier and alive then anyone else. Dogs pick you up when you are down. They are there when you are need help. And they love you forever. Mr. Broersma, I hope that you take this into consideration, for the sake of your own amazing, precious ( at times ), beautiful children. Just think of how happy they will be."

Thank You
P.S. Dog spelled backwards is God, just going to point that out :)

As for the research paper, well, the first draft wasn't good enough for Tim so he pointed out holes in the paper that needed to be covered. Two hours later, Addison added another couple pages that turned up again, with more holes in the research. Now Addison is getting mad and the secret keepers are experiencing guilt for the clearly visible frustrations of stopping the puppy project dead in its tracks. 
The worst came when Baylee was opening a present from my parents which happened to be a stuffed puppy, food dish and all, that Papa and Nana agreed to pet sit. This caused Addi to leave the room angry and in tears. Her poor childhood heart crushed that her parental's are never going to let her have a dog...
Until Christmas Day. Being eight weeks old on the 29th, allowed us to place this Cavapoo fur ball into a small, carefully placed white box on the doorstep while Tim and I both covered the reaction on film.
Best kept Christmas surprise ever. 
Puppy Project complete...well, sort of. Tim created an official puppy contract that Addison later negotiated and made minor changes so that the dog was referred to as an equal in the family. Well played.


* One of the top two suggested girl names was Beasley from The Office. The Name has since changed being she looks more like a Millie :)


{ The original Puppy Project Contract. }

Now accepting puppy advice...or good carpet cleaners!

Hummingbird Kisses

A faint hum. A flutter of the wing. A hummingbird kiss hovering in the air.
The ability to beat the wing two hundred times in a single second. 
This is grief; a flutter of memories that holds hundreds of visuals of the one you love which are displayed in a single beat of the heart longing to be with those gone. 

{ 1980's Christmas }

I first experienced this the day my sister passed almost two years ago. As the sun was setting in a pink fire of a sky, hummingbirds greeted the porch that once fed them in multiple feeders on Traci's balcony. The pause of movement hovering before diving to the next destination. 
Many have sent text messages with images of hummingbirds staring them down outside a kitchen window as a reminder of the connection my sister had with the fascinating bird. 
A physical reminder that brought a memory to mind. 
The most significant being on a run with a girlfriend this past summer, 1200ft. in elevation, pausing at an overlook facing Mt. Baker and the valley below. A breathtaking display of God's creation that felt like a hands distance away. Our emotions were already in play as we began our run in tears and paused in reflection of what God had done in our lives. As I began to explain how I couldn't even come close to what heaven would be like compared to the view we had in front of us, a hummingbird came within arms reach; eye level, face to face, pausing for what felt like minutes. My body collapsed to the stone rock we stood on as the tears flooded my cheeks. A hummingbird kiss of desired touch, relationship and physical presence fluttered in front of me as if Traci herself, was there to tell me to get it going, stop you're fussing and get running. My girlfriend gently laid her hand on my shoulder praying through the grief left on that view point advantage. 

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works and consider all your mighty deeds."
Psalm 77:11-12

Hauling out the Christmas decorations I, out of habit, went to grab my phone to call my sister and tell her Christmas was about to unleash throughout my house. Her name greeting me on the Christmas card list in harsh reality that I won't be sending her a card. 
The ornament hanging on the tree in memory of my sister not here in person to celebrate. 
Memories of decorating gingerbread houses together, discussing what gifts to buy for our parents, what crafts to make for teacher gifts and how to spoil the nieces and nephews have been in full view this month. It's hard not to remember the old... of not that long ago. 
One particular Christmas really stands out in my mind. My dad had just recently been diagnosed with prostate cancer. The weekend we found out all the details of his condition, I spent in Portland visiting Traci. She always had a list a mile long of things to do that if accomplished, would take the entire month to cross each one off. She was never shy of ideas to create memories. This weekend she took us (Tim, Addi & I) to the Grotto to see the beautiful displayed nativity scene carved in stone along with harmonic choirs in a tree light setting. There was a glimpse of fear in our conversation over Dad and tears shed as Daddy's girls were scared for his future. Little did we know four months later she would be facing a diagnoses herself. 
I also think back to Christmas of 2015 when us three kids tried to replicate an old childhood picture in our Christmas onesie pj's with perfectly cropped mullets. There was laughter that filled the living room seeing all of us in oversized, ridiculous pj's making the kids think we were all a bit crazy. 
And taking you really far back, the memories of red, plaid Christmas nightgowns with curly hair and three kids overly anxious to open presents with Mom slowly... washing... every... single... dish before we could even so much as touch a present to open. And of course, the kid picture in front of the tree or fireplace has to take place as well before the excitement of gifts begin. These are the flutters that cross my mind as I glance at our Christmas tree and see the hummingbird visit the feeder outside my window. 

"And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.""
Luke 22:19

Grief can be complicated, exhausting, unexpected and beautiful all in the same moment. I've been punched with grief when not expecting the tears to well up and then find myself laughing in the middle of a memory. I have promised myself that I will not give any ground for the Enemy to steal my joy and that also 
includes my joy in grief. 
Once a month, we remember what Christ did for us on the cross taking our sins upon Himself to then offer His children eternal salvation if we believe. A time to reflect, repent and remember ALL that Father God has done in our lives. Sure, for some this can be a time of extreme emotions and others a time of gratitude that extends through smiles and worship. Both displaying the act of remembering. We don't do this to get stuck on the fact that we are filthy sinners who don't deserve grace. We do this to remember the freedom we have through the cross. God has provided believers an expression to receive a hummingbird kiss. A moment to reflect on the ways God has rescued, redeemed and forgiven you in life. 
I am so thankful for the beauty of remembering. 

Sister, thank you for giving me so much to remember. 
Two hundred memories in a single second. 
Two hundred times two hundred more days I wish I had more with you. 
Two hundred ways to say I love you and miss you. 
Two hundred ways God gave you miracles that has inspired, encouraged and given me reason to smile. 

Hummingbird kisses. 
Flutters of memories displayed in mere seconds as a single tear quietly travels down my cheek. 
Merry Christmas Sister. You are always remembered.

Christmas Adventures


It's been all things Christmas here lately. 
Addison and I have been binge watching on Holiday Netflix catching ourselves smiling back at the TV in the expected guy-gets-girl classic movie ending. We've even managed to boot the guys to the basement a few times claiming all things cheese upstairs. 
Myriam has been learning about other styles of Christmas celebrations at school making for some interesting conversations. Meanwhile, Baylee has been learning all things potty training being surprised to learn that pee is indeed yellow (we're finally making progress here!).The playroom tree has been redecorated a few times by our little's and Addison taught Myriam how to make snowflakes so for awhile there was a continual trail of white paper pieces cut up all over the floor. I'm happy to report there was no hair cutting... Knock on wood it's been two years since the last self-inflicted mane style
Charlie has been focused on basketball in-between learning some new Christmas songs on his guitar. The Man Cub is gaining skills and picks up sheet music very quickly! Not sure I'd let him lead worship quite yet... 
Good to have goals!
Baylee has been playing with her new Christmas Tree stuffy 'Tiny Piney.' Her curiosity around the tree is high but no ornaments have been broken or gifts unwrapped. Yes, I have presents under the tree and all the kids think they have figured out the number system on the presents. I keep telling them, "You're not even close!" That's been fun to watch as they all try to guess what the gifts are and which are their own. 
As for fun, well, we paid an obnoxious amount of money to see Enchant Christmas which was an overpriced display of lights with gigantic reindeer lost in a Christmas light maze. We planned to ice skate but it cost more money and the line was too long for the amount of patience or attention left in our group. Can't say I'd go again but the family time we had was great... And we had no meltdowns or runners. Win!

{ Safeco Field: Enchant Christmas }


Tim's work party was earlier this month making our party line up simple and small. Mom and I went to the NCCTK Christmas Concert providing cheer, songs and laughter. The gingerbread houses are decorated and already being picked at with all Christmas cards stamped, handed out or ready to be sent. Addison and Tim decorated the office tree together and later her and I played cards by tree light. The score was tied by the end of the night!


This past weekend we went to see The Grinch in theaters and after, met Baylee's newest 1/2 sister at the hospital. There was a special moment as Naomi and I entered the nursery being asked who Mom was to Baylee. She without hesitation replied, "We both are!" Tim and I are very proud of the person and mom Naomi has become. We were happy to celebrate with the family!
My kitchen counters have a delicious display of cookies quickly disappearing into the hands of hungry children and Christmas music is usually always playing somewhere in the home.
My favorite part of December this far is the quiet moments sitting in my prayer chair with just the twinkle lights from the tree and fire mantel lighting the living room. Something magical happens starring at the Christmas tree. My thoughts get lost, memories reappear and excitement of 
what's to come brings a contented smile to my face. 

 
{ Welcoming baby Noella. }

I love all things Christmas. 
Yes, there are people missing but the beauty of Christmas remains. 
The Christmas crafts will continue and advent calendar opened daily. This next week Christmas breaks begins for the kids and the wish for snow becomes real. Our Christmas Day movie line up is already decided and groceries purchased for holiday snacks and meals. 
Baby Jesus... We are ready for You!
Merry Christmas.