Walking Gigi Home

{ This post is long but filled with memories for our family. }

{ January 8th, 1928 - May 26th, 2016}

Grandma would be having a fit if she knew how big of a deal I

was making of herself.

Better known as Gigi to our kids, Grandma has been walking home to glory for the past few weeks as she continued to display her personal charm in many colors and fashions. From her stubborn flair of not asking for help to her refusal for family to stay and care, Grandma made her walk home something I look up to as once again, her beautiful, strong personality shines through.
After falling at night while still at home, Grandma consented to a transition to the hospice house. It made these final steps home that much easier giving all of the family peace knowing Grandma has been well taken care of with daily smoothies and bedside TLC.

Grandma has always been a no-non-sense kind of woman. Humble in her approach to most situations, Grandma was never one to make a fuss over anything. She loved to travel, serve others at the Food Bank, tend to her gardens and always asked me about our adoption and foster journeys.
She never needed the latest fashion trend or worried about what her hair or make-up looked like. Of course, I still heard every time I cut and permed her hair how she wished God granted her thicker, prettier hair, but it didn't stop her from making what she did have gorgeous.
"Can you do anything with this mess?" she'd say.

As a little girl, I remember Gigi going to bed with her hair rollers and bed hat wrapped around her head. I never understood how she could sleep with all that business up there! It wasn't until after her chemotherapy that gray hair became noticeable. Then came the second round of cancer that I had to shave that miserable head of hair off due to chemotherapy. Grandma was given a wig, but it turned out Myriam had more use of it then Grandma! Once again, a no fuss kind of woman that found vanity a thing of the past.

I'm quite certain the same perfume Grandpa had given Grandma decades ago still stands on her dresser today and same goes for many other accessories that again, had little to no value to Grandma. It was all just stuff.

I loved that about my Grandma as do all of the family.

What mattered most was us; family.

Growing up my sister and I would spend a week in the summer with Grandma and Grandpa. Hard boiled eggs in the morning with cereal or oats and raspberries with ice cream at night along with the neighborhood bike rides on the Blue Angel. We often had the occasional fresh potato from the garden and the snack from the properly labeled chip Tupperware in the top cupboard. Before the big move into town, I clearly remember the flour drawer next to the kitchen sink and that creepy squeaky door that led to the dark scary basement. The farm still holds many secrets; some that Grandma will never know! Memories of big family potlucks, explorations through the barns and swinging high under the front yard trees are very dear to me.

{ Grandma with her grandkids Christmas 2015. }

Living so close to the high school made for convenient stops before game days as a warm meal was always offered. There was the occasional night I'd have to sleep over as well which were always welcomed.

Grandma was always baking even up to a month ago attempting to make something we could eat at Sunday coffee. I would take my cues from my cousin Trent if it was edible or not and then choose to pass as Gigi offered the sweets around the room. There was always the pre-warning from Grandma too, "I don't know if these are any good," but as grand kids, we tried to make Grandma feel as if her baking skills were still up to par.

In the early days, we would have dinner at Grandma's every other Sunday afternoon. My love for carbs came from the perfectly seasoned garlic bread we had and the expected rice and beef casserole always made on Saturday night in preparation for family dinner.

The day would start at church when Grandma would pass out Smarties to keep us young ones from getting jittery during the message. I always looked forward to the message treat and sometimes would get a dutch mint if the sweets were running low. I showed Addison where Grandma hid her Smarties stash and noticed the same stash was still in it's place from when I was her age right next to her hand sewn purse clutch.

{ Wrappers full of memories. }

{ Sunday's dinner. }

There's also many memories of Grandma proudly jumping in the lake with us grand kids vacationing in Lake Chelan. The tradition started the summer I turned eight and phased out when Charlie was two or three. Never was there a summer Grandma's blue and purple floral swimsuit did not make an appearance. Our evenings were caught up in aggressive games of Skip-Bo or Phase Ten where a familiar farm term may have slipped from Grandma's lips a time or two. She was known for her delicious home-made hot chocolate and willingness to hop on her bike with any of us kids.

Sometimes taking Gigi in public made me nervous as she always spoke her mind regardless if her opinion was a popular one or not. If she didn't like my new haircut or color I would know about it. If I wore my hair straight not curly, I would for sure know about which she preferred. If we saw someone who needed a few additional articles of clothing, she'd tell me.

There was also the moment I wanted to hide when after Addison was born, Gigi would babysit for three hours a couple times a week. I would go a little before and feed Addison when Gigi blurted out with the obvious. For the sake of not embarrassing my children I'll keep this G-rated. "Honey, isn't it amazing how a little bit of man mixed with a little bit of woman can create such a beautiful thing?" Yes, Grandma, that is amazing.

Years later, she had a softer tone of voice when after explaining the deepest pain in my life she quickly and gently, without any hesitation, replied, "Stephie, Jesus tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. You need to forgive him." Recently, in the quiet moments of the morning at the hospice house, Tim was able to thank Grandma for changing the course of our marriage. Thank you Grandma.

Grandma had a boldness about her that made some uncomfortable, some want to scream and others run closer to her. Often times we saw this come out in her stubbornness to do things herself. It's what kept her feisty for so long and fight her illness as long as she did. Never did Gigi complain. Never did she mention pain. The last wish was to not be a burden to her family.
"Honey, I'm fine," became the expected answer over the last few months even though she clearly was not.
Grandma was a servant. She had a heart to bless others. She served weekly at the food bank and used her hands to serve others after natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina. In the years before I was married, I volunteered monthly at a Seattle homeless shelter providing haircuts and serving meals. On one of my trips, Grandma tagged along to see what it was I did. Watching Grandma talk to the men coming to get a warm meal made my heart swell with pride as she set aside all opinions and was simply another human being talking about life.

Addison will keep Gigi close by as they share the same middle name, Jean. Charlie will have a little bit of Gigi's house with the added Lego collection and Myriam will miss Gigi's chap stick collection and candy bowls. Grandma often times would bring home a special treat from the Food Bank resulting in massive sugar highs. So much of Grandma will be missed. The warm and inviting fire place, the book suggestions, the need to share our latest scrap booking tool or card made, the quick drop of what she was doing to help with the kids.

No longer will we see the cactus driving through town on her antenna or have the collection of elephants greet us by the front door.
The grape vine will stop producing the popular "Grandma's Grape Juice," and Sunday coffee will be semi-retired. The memories go farther than any piece of furniture, favorite vase or frame or random dish from the kitchen.
This day is no surprise to any of us. This day has long been approaching us.

{ Easter 2015 }

When Aunt Donna called me a few weeks ago, I quickly packed up my Little's and drove over to check on Gigi. Grandma has told me time and time again her wish to watch our Myriam grow up. She has always enjoyed the stories, laughter and surprises that little one creates and wishes she could watch Tim and I stress over chasing her through life. I reminded her of the aerial view she'd have and how much more fun that will be as we parent our live-wire!

Grandma has also always shared many intimate details of her life with me and again did so that evening. I treasure those moments and will miss her honesty. Addison and Charlie joined me inside after I clearly saw the light of Heaven drawing Grandma closer to her eternal home. So, with all four of us holding hands, we prayed that Jesus would accept Gigi's request of going home. We asked God that He would allow Gigi to wake up in glory as we gave her permission to go sit at the feet of Jesus. After kisses and hugs until the next time, we said good bye. The kids were rock stars until we got back in the car and tears broke free of the dam. Gigi holds a special place in our kids' hearts and has been extremely involved in all our lives.

{ Addison & Charlie with Gigi after setting her free. }
April 19th

Death is never easy; it's hard to witness and creates many questions for the young ones. With Gigi, we have been reminded about the truth of the gospel in which Gigi firmly stood on.

"For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

{ Making Gigi comfortable and keeping her company as she walks home. }
April 22nd

No longer is the cancer holding Gigi captive of misery and lack of appetite. No longer does Grandma have to sit in her chair and talk to Grandpa as she longed to see him again. There is no more time to read books twice sometimes three times over and never again will there be yard work or flower beds to tend to.

No longer will we hear, "I'm fine."

Gigi is free.

And with little to no fuss, much like she requested, we say,

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

Grandma, you are so loved and will be missed greatly.