Death Clarified Life

"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, He gave up His spirit.
At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.
When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, "Surely He was the Son of God!"
Matthew 27:51-54

Death clarifies priorities.

Not the priorities on the 'to do list' for the day, but those priorities that lead to eternal life.
I catch myself getting caught up in the busy routine of life, chasing kids and my husband, when first, I should be chasing God and the family running after me. Those things that seem important for the day really could wait as many times it's just added noise.
I recently completed a thirteen week course on grief as my world turned upside down this past year and found myself needing to check this box off to reassure my grief was on the right track.
As informative as the class was, my biggest take away was a few key scriptures and phrases that will stick with me for a long while.

If there was no sin, there would be no reason for the crucifixion.
If there was no sacrifice on the cross, there would be no reason to hope.
If there was no death, there would be no resurrection.
If there was no resurrection, there would be no eternal life or forgiveness.

Jesus' death on the cross clarified our purpose as believers and extended eternal life to all sinners.
With any life altering situation, death or pain, it truly does clarify what's important to you.
Nine years ago, Tim and I sat on our living room floor on Good Friday, serving each other communion as our first marriage died and we allowed God to give us a second chance at us.
The betrayal clarified our focus on what was real and a priority in our family.
Without Jesus' death on the cross, there would have been no reason to fight for our marriage. There would be no reason to forgive or to seek mercy from others.

Without death there would be no hope.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Revelation 21:4

As I've been reflecting on Good Friday and what is to come on Sunday, I can't help but think about the good that has come from death.
Forgiveness. Grace. Mercy. Love. Hope. A reinstated purpose to live more for today.

God tells us in Matthew 6:34 to, "not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." The challenge to stay in today is forever an issue as fallen humans living in a world of worry and fret.
The promise and hope in Jesus' death, is we know what is coming in three days... life.

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering...
For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."
Isaiah 53:3, 12b

If I Could Call You...

...I'd tell you about all the funny stories the girls have created recently and how big the kids are getting.

You'll love this one; I was so embarrassed.

The neighbors have a pussy willow tree that falls a little into our carport and the Little's noticed the fuzzy's in the sky. I decided to cut a small branch for the girls and used some others to display inside.
So far pretty innocent. Just wait.

The next day, when Myriam came home from school, the girls picked up their pre-cut stems, ran to the swings and around the backyard giggling and yelling at the top of their lungs, "Pussy, pussy, pussy!!!" One of those moments my hand couldn't get to their mouths fast enough as the neighbors were also enjoying the early spring sunshine listening to the vulgar sayings coming from the mouths of our little babes. 

Little, sweet baby number four continues to impress us with her knowledge and understanding of things no two year should know at her age. She sings to us, tells us her letters, points out her planets and can count when asked to. The unfortunate part of having a sponge for a mind and having older mouths coming and going is what she takes in when we don't realize it's even being said. Young uncle taught Bee a potty name that she repeats all the time not knowing what it means. Then, when I was being Mom and telling Bee not to play with the toilet brush and plunger, she looked up at me and scolded me stating, "That's b.s." 

Imagine my shock. Yeah. Not happy. Not sure where she heard that, but I'm telling myself it was a one time deal. Mom fail. 

Dad's been stepping up to the role of babysitter and doing a dang good job. He's still a major softy and can sometimes lose control of the situation easily which makes me laugh. One kid ate a shovel of dirt on his watch. Another time the diaper wasn't put on correctly as the little butt was a moving target which resulted in the next diaper draining down the leg. No painters tape was used though so I see it as improvement. Makes me laugh.

If I could call you, I know I'd hear you laughing hysterically to the chaos that unfolded.
I also know I'd hear you saying how proud you are of the Man Cub who is nailing his guitar lessons and doing awesome. Kid always has loved music and has a goal to play worship songs around our fire pit this summer. 

He's also good at spending money at Fairway Drug. Mama was not happy when he shared with me he spent $25 on candy and who knows what else. Almost made him return the junk, but most was already consumed. Maybe he misses all the spoiling and shopping trips by you and was trying to make up for that loss. Either way, I'm not sure I trust him with a nickel let alone a dollar bill!

Music seems to be a theme in the home actually. Myriam wants to take violin lessons and may start soon. She walks around with water bottles and sticks pretending to play. It's cute. I think the classical music and high range of notes could be soothing to her. 

I think you'd be floored knowing Addi is performing in her first musical this week. Yep, on stage, in a costume, in front of people and not shuddering in fear or backing off because she's shy. She privately teaches herself ukulele and just today, after two years, had her braces removed. 

It's terrifying. The pure beauty and innocence scares me. 

If I could call you I'd plan our trip to the tulip fields, but instead I'll tend to my own and wait in anticipation for the pink bulbs to bloom. The dogwood trees are showing signs of wanting to burst with pink flowers reminding me of how you loved spring and blossoms. Fragrant reminders throughout the gardens that make me smile when pulling weeds, trimming vines and yes, getting rid of the dead possum Addi stumbled on under the kitchen window. So gross. So ugly. 

If you could only see how fantastic Dad and Mom look. Crazy. You can't find anything sweet or crappy to eat in the house because it all has this healthy theme to it... unless Dad has treats hiding somewhere and not telling me. Baby brother wore his skirt again last weekend and rocked it playing the drums. 

If I could call you...

Well, the honest truth is that you did. No joke. They put your number back in service and gave it to some lady locally! Miss Bee grabbed my phone months ago and ended up calling you, well this person, hanging up and then that number called me back. Oh you would have been bent over laughing at me when I answered. I had a conversation with myself out loud as this stranger listened in confusion to me. 

"Traci, is that you? No wait you're dead. Traci? Come on it can't be her. You know better. 

Is this 319-XXXX? Are you Traci. Steph, come on. Get it together. Hello?"

Turns out this lady (I actually thought she was a man until she corrected me because her voice was so deep and raspy. I secretly gave her the name of Ol' Smokey.) got stuck on a family thread and after weeks of receiving these threads started to ask about our cousin. Next thing I know Ol' Smokey wanted me to come to her house and tell her what was needed to be approved as a foster home for her grandkids. I think Smokey thought she'd found a new best friend. Seriously, I think you planned this one just to give me some more crazy in my life. The extended family certainly got a good laugh from this too. 

If I could call you...

Well, if I were to be totally honest with myself...

I don't think you'd answer. 

If I were walking the streets of gold with Jesus and all my Bible Hero's, I'd let the machine take a message and send memories in the budding season and hummingbirds too. 

I know this because you did this week.

Until we can sit together and have eternal chats, keep the birds coming. 

I miss you sister.