Well, here we are again with weekly infusions, side affects from the new drugs and arranging schedules to be with my sister as Traci embarks on yet another chapter in her story. She's sturdy as an Oak Tree and laughs in the face of fear. Traci's spark has not been stolen; her smile not lost. There is so much more fight left in her body and she's ready to face this head on.
In the past few weeks, My Hero has had a liver biopsy to get a clear picture as to how the organ is functioning with the disease settling in. She's had three chemotherapy infusions and so far, besides a few tummy aches and fatigue, has handled it well. Her hair was starting to fall out in clumps and leaving itself on her pillow case, so rather then continuing with the mess, we had our third hair shaving party. A little hair chalk, Mohawk fun and mini cheerleaders made the process quite entertaining. Nothing seems to knock this gal down; maybe a brief moment of lost balance, but God has continued to gain control quickly and lead. It's been an inspiration to watch Traci's faith play out over almost
9 long years of this battle.
I've had lots of thoughts race through my mind recently as we face this new reality adding the odds stacked against winning this battle. The one thing that keeps coming to me as I pray, ponder, worship and reflect is this thought: gracious jealousy. Now, most may say what the heck are you jealous of with illness, symptoms, treatments and constant pain? Let me explain.
Back in November we were driving home in twenty four degree weather. The landscape was white with frost; the trees stood still covered in frozen crystals. Nothing moved; life was paused as the sun slowly rose shining light on the individual crystals covering the ground. I silently prayed that God would do the same with my sisters cancer pausing life as it was; no more surprises, no more progression of the disease. But, as life would have it, the hours passed by and life continued moving forward. So, I had to adjust my thought process which led me to becoming jealous of My Hero. Whether we are days, months or years away from a joyful homecoming, I find myself being graciously jealous of My Hero being that much closure to sitting at the feet of Jesus. I find myself being jealous of meeting Moses, worshipping with the angels and embracing our Grandpa's all in light of having a perfect body.
No more scars, no more pain; perfect in every manner.
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Revelation 21:4
The day when all earthly pains will pass and all that's left is holy worship. The day when health will never be questioned or fail and all that's left is to dance freely. If I could prolong this process I certainly would, but the beautiful story that is continuing to unfold should never be forgotten; it should never be frozen. Until God chooses His final pathway for My Hero, I will support, encourage and wipe all my sisters tears away...
with immense gracious jealously.
