the broersma five

{ Some images may not sit well with weak tummies. }

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying for pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Revelations 21:4

{ Post face-wipe as Mom cleaned the suet off. }

This past weekend my Dad attempted to baptize himself with holy fire as the fuel tank on the boat exploded in his face. By the complete grace of God, Dad's life was spared from potentially worsened injuries to his face and body. He walked away with 2nd degree burns to his right arm and face; the potential of much worse haunts me. The boat still floats and Dad has been able to recover from home with his very own personal nurse (his lovely wife) by his side changing dressings and administering drugs on schedule to keep the pain away.

We won't go into details about how this event happened, but enough to the point where Dad's arm was stuffed in the fuel tank when it exploded making his hair stand on end from the blast and glasses go flying off his nose. Traci went down to the boat later in the day to find his glasses dangling from the out board motor about to fall into Bellingham Bay. Dad had plastic gloves on which spared his fingers being blown off and his overalls which shredded from impact.

{ Second degree. OUCH. }

Turns out if you want to get a room in the ER right away, walk in with a bloody shirt and tell the front desk you just walked away from a fuel explosion. Now, for Dad, walking into the ER means walking into a situation with co-workers who obviously had great concern for their new patient.
Meanwhile, the blackened face text message Mom sent out got quite the jump-up-in-your-seat reaction from me. I was relieved to know God had this in His mighty hands much like He has since before time. Many will say, or have said, "What more does this family need to deal with? How much more can they take?
Crazy as it may seem, should we not be saying the reverse?
"God you know our hearts. God you know our capabilities. We trust in You completely. Why not bring us through another testing situation?"

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

Daniel 3:16-18

In our culture today, we have Christians being burned for their profession of faith. Believers being shot in the head for standing their ground and making God their King without waiver. Young and old being tested in their faith journey as society tries with all it has to numb them from the Truth and make them turn their backs against the church. The furnace we encounter today is terrifying. I shutter to think about the many more fires we as Christians will have to walk through in America as the projected timeline of Jesus coming back to earth gets nearer. Our government is making disgusting changes within the law that is speed-tracking Jesus coming to save us from the gross sins of this world; the pain as a result from God not being in the center of decision making.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into the blazing fire and knew that God was going to save them without question! Their faith did not flounder when faced with a terrifying situation; potentially deadly situation.
Dad's experience with holy fire reminded me of these three men.

I think back to my sixth grade year as I had recently upgraded myself from permed hair, shoulder pads and moved into the, "I'm cool, know it all" phase of middle school. It was a normal day until Mom and Dad sat us three kids down to carefully tell us, "Dad has colon cancer." Of course, as a young girl my thoughts immediately went to, "Who is going to walk me down the isle? What is this going to look like for us now as a family?"
Our little school was AMAZING as they brought us meals and offered support in very tangible ways.

Fear gripped us all, but the faith we founded our family in stood tall and didn't collapse under pressure. A year of treatments passed and at the end of my eighth grade we celebrated Dad's end of treatment with a trip to Hawaii. Our family became closer due to the illness and gave us a reality of being more open about expressing our love for each other. We had some pretty sweet moments in the fire.

Fast forward many years later to when Mom and Dad were driving Addi and I home from the Lighted Parade when I heard those words once again.

"Honey, Dad has prostate cancer." My stomach sank. My heart was heavy for the discouragement I saw in their eyes and heard the uncertainty in their voices. Dads are never to show weakness. Never to appear fearful of the future. Dads stand tall and strong and can do anything their little girls ask them to do. Never did I see this in reverse more, then when Dad was in Seattle at the UW for surgery and about to go on the ventilator. A blood clot had made its way to his lungs as a complication from a newly discovered platelet disorder. If it wasn't for my dear mom repeating the demanding words BREATH, I'm not so sure about the outcome. Little did we know this was not the last of the fires we'd be thrown into as a family.

Four months later and My Hero was diagnosed with breast cancer which has continued eight years later with a lost count on treatments, scans, surgeries and barf bags. There have been many terrifying moments as tumor markers have risen to uncomfortable levels or waiting for results from a latest scan. The cancer has traveled many places in My Hero's body and one would think she'd become weaker as it tackles a new organ, BUT, it's almost as if the cancer becomes her fuel to make her faith stronger.
I've watched my sister battle the physical hurdles over these past years, but more painful are the mental and emotional victories she's navigated through. God blessed me with fertile ovaries that gave My Love and I two beautiful, blond babies. God continued when He placed our fire-cracker Puerto Rican in our hands three years ago. We've shared intimate moments within our marriage. We've traveled as a couple and fought as one too. I have secure arms wrapped tightly around me at night and know I have a team, my little family, to support me when I'm weak or need help walking. I have my physical strength to do the things I love; running, biking, moving from sun-up to sun-down. Even though my career has changed and morphed into one without a plaque, my job as Mom is tangible and God has given me grace to achieve the assignments in front of me.
Watching my Hero decide whether to have surgery or not because it would take all of these everyday blessings away from her was heart-wrenching. Seeing her battle the emotional aspect of the surgical outcomes wore on many around her. Yes, in the end her doctor really didn't give her any other option, but if it was still her choice of when to have the surgery, it would still be on the "to-do" list.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

Isaiah 43:2

Never. Ever, have I seen My Hero question why God allowed the cancer minions to throw as many stones as they have in these past years. Never have I seen her complain ( okay, twice. ) about the exhausting, laundry list of pills needed to be taken daily, appointments scheduled or pokes had to get her through the next hurdles of the disease. She is a rock, a fire-proof believer that will not burn no matter what size furnace she is forced to endure.
My dear Grandma of 87 years is facing uncertainty on this earth. Her faith is what keeps her tall as the disease is attacking her earthly body. The fire will not touch her soul.
My dad, as he recovers from his flesh wounds, will bounce back and keep swinging because God has made him a tall oak that is hard to knock over. His roots go deep and even if pruned, will grow back healthier and stronger. A reminder of how quick life can be taken from you gives more reason to experience the life God grants us.
My Mom; the nurse, the nurturer, the comforter, the one of being in many places while doing many things; her faith, although tested and stretched, knows Her Father has His hand carrying her giving the life-sustaining breath to fight for others. She never stops and stubbornly doesn't take offers of help. But, if I can represent anyone through my life, it would be her. This pillar of strength carries her beloveds cancer battles and mishaps, her daughters extreme fight for life, her own mother's and mother-in-laws cancer journey and the daily tasks, all on her shoulders with such amazing grace.
It would be an honor to stand as tall as Mom has while driving in so many directions for so many people. I'm exhausted listening to her week's schedule!
My point is this...some may say we are cursed for bad things, plagued with potentially life-ending situations to happen within our family. I say, yep, why not? We believe in a God that heals, saves and forgives, right? So, if we believe in a God so much mightier than ourselves or any earthly power then why fear? Yes, we have emotions and physical pain that causes us to feel the good, the bad and the ugly, but that isn't a gage of our faith. Unless, it's one that states we don't trust God enough to throw us in the furnace and not walk our unscathed.

"But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread."
Job 23:10-12

I pray my life can be of one that withstands the furnace much like Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego were thrown into. I pray that we, as a fighting family, can "come forth as gold" after another diagnoses appears, accident happens or death occurs; physical or emotional. I pray for our relationships to not fray as negativity attempts to cut away around the edges with tensions, opinions or not understanding how to deal with the unknowns. I pray for protection over our kids as they are too young to understand the fire they too are walking through and for their faith to become like a thick wall that stands up to the blazing temperatures of life.
I thank God for the other pillars in our life who have filled in the gap with prayers and support. It is not healthy for one to carry all the burden alone. I have a lifetime of gratitude for God sparing Dad's life with his encounter of holy fire. There are many who won't let him live this one down, but jokes aside, I believe God has a reason to keep Dad here longer.
Once these temporary wounds heal, I think a family meeting should be in order as our days of fire walking are not done!

Mother's Day morning I woke up to poppy eggs in bed with steaming hot coffee served by My Love and our Little Blessing's. As I sat in bed awkwardly eating my breakfast with all eyes on me, I was showered with reasons why I was special and dearly loved. There were a few pauses and thoughtful moments, but I'm going to say the silence was due to it being early that not many reasons were shared!
There are moments where I don't deserve the doting on as I snap or need to fall to my knees in forgiveness for my impatience. My role as a mom has morphed into teacher over the years and I'm blessed to have kids that offer me grace daily when trying to teach hard topics with a toddler dancing around. I'm forever grateful to be Mom to these kids!
Either way, I felt loved. Of course there came the cherished handmade gifts and attempts at a peaceful day but in the end, the day was perfect. A mid-afternoon run left me sweaty and we topped it with a sweet S'moresma as the sun set to the west.

{ Brothers. }

We spent the late morning at Gigi's enjoying an impromptu brunch with Aunt's and Uncle's. It's entertaining as the 1st cousins are now chasing the 2nd cousins in the back yard. We were missing a few, but the group has grown over the years. Gigi still has the same LEGOS my dad played with as a child for our kids to be creative with as the wood cars and John Deere's rolled around outside. The four brothers have evolved over the years too with less of more gray hair and bellies full of wisdom. And as always, more stories of these curious four come out with smirks and grins oozing with guilt.

Gigi is an amazing mother. She is a survivor, a do-it-yourself-er, strong in personality and strength and rarely gives in to whatever it is she's facing. I am blessed that God has given her so many years to inspire me, challenge me and to give our kids numerous memories of their Great Grandma.

{ Myriam was experiencing a bit of an overly tired, sensory meltdown during an attempt at pictures with 2nd cousins and Gigi. }

Thank you to all the Mom's in my life who have shaped the way I parent and love our kiddos. My Mother is a saint and I have been immensely blessed to watch her navigate extreme challenges both in health and at home that have inspired me to be greater. Thank you to all the mom's around me who have taught me to be a better wife, mother and friend displaying Jesus to our kids and those in our circles. Happy Mother's Day!